A Salute to the Golden Horseshoe Revue

I love Halloween. Like, really really (add 12 more reallys) love it. When you were little, it was an excuse to get dressed up, get attention, act silly with your friends, and eat candy until you passed out. Now it’s an excuse to get dressed up, get attention, act silly with your friends, and drink […]

kim kardashian cry

Fireball was that perfect guy who always lived in your city but you never knew existed. He was around, but you were too busy making out with Jose, Jim, Jack, or Goose, or partying with your red-headed slut friends to notice. But then finally in 2013 (or maybe it was 2012, you can’t really remember), […]

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Everywhere you look (Facebook, MySpace, you mom’s Tinder profile), you see someone turning up with their bae and other people saying they LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN if they hear the word bae one more time, and the rest of the universe is either sitting around taking basic Buzzfeed quizzes and drinking #PSLs or looking at “fitness […]

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NEWSFLASH: Dry hand season is upon us. Great. If I’m not fully lubed up from now until March, you would mistake my mitts for an 86-year-old’s. Thankfully, there are a plethora of products to keep granny hands at bay. Here are my awards for the best. All-natural: HollyBeth Organics Orange Peppermint Shea Butter Cream ($25). Not […]

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So this Alexander Wang x H&M collection is a pretty big deal. Not only is Alexander Wang such a major name (especially as of late), but this marks the first time an American designer has teamed up with H&M in a designer collaboration. Personally I don’t know how I feel about the collection because this was […]

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SPOILER ALERT: The most amazing concealer ever is called……..Amazing Concealer. Just let that sink in. Here was my convo at Sephora a month ago in NYC: Me to the uber-groomed gay man with that “I know my shit” look about him: “I’m searching for a new concealer; any suggestions?” Him: “Ohmygod yes girl, we have the […]

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Staying hydrated is always in style (seriously, it’s like the #1 FREE AND EASY beauty trick), but these days you can make even more of a statement with all the fashionable and functional water bottles on the market. Say sayonara to the days of funk-tasting H2O due to cheap plastic, not to mention the the […]

judge judy

Praise the Lawd, I finally stopped laughing long enough to write this damn article. So here’s the situation. I’ve seen lists of “turn-offs” on the Internets before but I think they’ve all been mediocre, so I realized it was HIGH TIME to ask the females I know to share the things that kill their lady boners. I […]

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Three things pertaining to this blog entry: 1. I love J Brand jeans. They boost your butt and make your legs look skinny even if it’s in the middle of holiday season and you’ve been skipping the squats to crush cookies and eggnog. Therefore, they are more magical than Santa himself. 2. I’m not one to take #OOTD […]

family feud

Even though I knew this was coming the second I heard the question, it still made my jaw drop then start laughing hysterically. Poor Peter (and of course that’s his name). But props to him for taking it in stride. But still. I just don’t know how you come back from this.

fall hair feature

There is nothing wrong with being bleach blonde in the dead of winter (especially if you live somewhere warm all year round…bitch). But lots of ladies who lighten their locks in the summer want to go a tad darker when football season (A.K.A. fall) starts rolling in. I recently saw my hair whisperer Mandy Gispert […]

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If “Anaconda” comes on the radio, I immediately turn the station. If the video comes on MTV, I immediately change the channel. JK LOL like MTV actually plays music videos LMAO! But seriously…can’t stand the “song,” obviously can’t take the video (remember?), but this dance school performing choreography by Tricia Miranda (my new idol), might […]

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My brother texted me with a “hilarious” YouTube link and said “I cannot deal with it” and I was like, “Wait, he literally can’t even right now?” I had to watch. Behold Chris D’elia (my #1 comic crush as of late) impersonate drunk girls with incredible accuracy. I mean, HOW CAN HE BE THAT GOOD? […]

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I happen to have an arsenal of sex toys, namely vibrators. Attribute it to the fact that I co-hosted a Pure Romance party for four years in a row where I not only got free gifts but also got wasted. “Limited edition” neon yellow dildo butterfly vibrator for $80? Sure why not! My power bill […]

phones at concert

I went to Sam Smith at The Tabernacle on Monday night, and I will share with the world that it was one of the most incredible concerts I’ve ever been to in my life (seriously). But what it made it even BETTER were all the people in front of me with their phones in the […]

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I never even DREAMED this day would come, but my favorite comedic sketch of all time (along with every other white girl I know) has not only turned into a song we can #TurnUp whilst drinking white zin and taking mirror selfies before going out on Saturday night, but also…A MUSIC VIDEO. Starring Sara (with no H) […]

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Not that the #IceBucketChallenge wasn’t an incredible fundraising effort and example of social media’s power, but by week four, I think we were all like And those people who were very last to do it…bless their hearts. But something has surfaced in its wake and it’s, well….ballsy. Literally. Celebs and common folk are grabbing their […]

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I can’t tell you how many times my girlfriends and I have sat around at brunch talking about sex, and been like, “You know, it’s totally AMAAAAAZING having sex with condoms, but what would make it even more UHHHHH-mazing would be a whole lot more latex. Like, the dude’s entire junk area covered in rubber. […]

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Because I know how to Ask Jeeves, I discovered that there are a handful of other “LOL FUNNIEST INSTAGRAMS TO FOLLOW” articles out there, but fuck them because this is the best one, I fucking promise you that. (That was a test. If you’re offended by my language, this article probably isn’t for you.) Before […]

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Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Walmart via Mode Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Walmart. Guess what, y’all? I packed up the ol’ pickup truck and went to Walmart AGAIN to stock up on beauty products. JK, I don’t have a pickup […]

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Compensation was provided by Sally Hansen® via Mode Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Sally Hansen®. Confession: I haven’t been to the nail salon in months and I’m proud of it. I have really been werking my at-home mani skills, and […]

iphone hack

We’ve all been there–at a music festival, football game, Beyonce concert, porn convention, etc. and because there are LITERALLY A BILLION PEOPLE all trying to text/Facebook/Snapchat/Tinder at the same time, your phone shits the bed. Well actually it’s the provider/signal shitting the bed, but you know you’re blaming your phone like, “OMG I like, can’t […]

pinnacle fall 2

Yeah yeah yeah, spring and summer are legit, but let’s be honest—fall is the best season because dudes have NFL, NCAA, and fantasy football, and chicks have EVERYTHING WE LIVE FOR. Am I wearing leggings and UGG slippers as I type this? I mean, does Obama drink lattes? Here are ten reasons to raise a glass […]

pumpkin headphones

I loved my summer 2K14 playlist so much, I wondered if I’d ever be able to top it. WELL. Thanks to Spotify’s killer music browsing abilities, a little Flywheel instructor stalking (read: Cara Weaver), all the talented music makers out right now, and my own penchant for playlisting, I may have just done it. There […]