Recently, I had to grab some drugstore sunscreen in a pinch and was instantly drawn to Hawaiian Tropic’s SPF 20 Shimmer Effect Lotion. I like SPF 20 because it’s higher than 15 but less than 30.

You can just call me a mathematician after that astute statement.

I also like the idea of a subtle shimmer. Now, had this lotion said “glitter” or “sparkle,” I would have backed away from it like an ex coming at me in a bar with drunk face.  The two skin effects are very different and are made for two separate age groups (and decades, for that matter).

I slathered it on my arms while on the beach ready to see a subtle glow, but instead, instantly felt like an extra in the most award-winning flick of 2001…Glitter.

I don’t exactly remember if there are a lot of sparkly bodies in that movie because I’ve tried to block it from my mind but the title pretty much sums it up, plus Mariah Carey, the wannabe-tween, butterfly-loving, body glitter queen herself, stars in it. So that’s what I felt like as my skin sparkled under the sun’s rays. My BFF Cory noticed immediately (because I was blinding her) and concurred.

So there you have it, sunbathing beauties. In my book, there’s nothing wrong with listening to a little “Always Be My Baby” and “Fantasy” (especially the remix) on the beach, but unless you want to look like Miss Mariah herself circa 1997, steer clear of this concoction.

Forever.

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