Ladies, hold onto your panties because I’m about to present you with a bonafide HUNK and his holiday wish list. Forget Channing Tatum, Adam Levine, or Joe Manganiello; this is Joel Darby.
This modern day renaissance man is part owner of Atlanta’s famous Fur Bus, former Auburn University mascot, costume connoisseur, kickass DJ, Goldendoodle whisperer, and he’s rich as SH*T because he has a day job that I don’t really understand (but I know he has to dress nice). He also has a hot wife (naturally) and a big truck. If you’re looking to buy a gift for your smokin’ hot, adventurous, successful man with a sense of humor and countless talents, look no further than Joel’s wish list.
And please ladies…try to contain yourselves. He’s taken, for Pete’s sake.
1. GoPRO Hero3: “What better way to capture all of the extreme things you do in your day-to-day life… such as extreme driving in traffic, extreme texting, and extreme facebooking. $200-$400, available online and at sporty stores
(These are also great to wear whilst drunk so you know what you did the next morning.)
2. Bosch digital laser tape measure: “Because I’m lazy and pulling out a tape measure SUCKS. Shoot this across the room and BOOM, you instantly know how far away your fridge is. $80+, available online
(Also a great gadget for
tormenting playing with your dog.)
3. Durhamtown Day Package: “This place is all dude (in the manly, outdoorsy way; not the truck-stop-with-showers way). 4-wheeler and dirt bike rentals with hundreds of acres of trails and jumps.” $85+ to rent a bike for the day
(Ladies, if you get this for your boo, just don’t ask to tag along and ride on the handlebars. Get your own bike.)
4. Large-face Nixon watches: “All of them are cool and relatively inexpensive And it never gets old when some asshole asks if your watch is big enough. Ever.” $125+, available online and at select retailers
(Just don’t get one of these for the guy with a tiny wrist. Awwwwkward….)
5. Zombie ammo: “With the apocalypse going down tomorrow, you would be foolish to not have plenty of bullets to protect yourself from the enemy.” $18-$20, available online and at Cabela’s
(Wait, the end of the world is actually the zombie apocalypse? In that case, bring it. I’m obsessed with The Walking Dead.)
Thanks to Joel for sharing his wishes with the world. Now I’m going to order myself a GoPro so I can document my upcoming weekend and fantasize about Rick Grimes. ‘Tis the season!