Joy to the world! Merry Christmas! God rest ye’ merry gentlemen (and women)! This is the post that I guest blogged on The Pumpkin Spot (yes, awesome editor Becky let me spew my nonsense on her lovely site, which you should check out), so I figured I may as well post it up here, too. Presenting: The five BEST and WORST things about the holidays. ‘Tis the season.
The BEST 5 Things About the Holiday Season:
1. You are totally justified in A) Drinking every single night of the week, B) Wearing sequins head-to-toe daily (no one knows whether you have a holiday party every night or not), and C) Bingeing on snickerdoodles, cheese balls, eggnog, etc. and gaining 5-7 lbs. in the month of December.
2. Three words: STARBUCKS. HOLIDAY. CUPS.
Wait, two more words: With Bailey’s.
3. The three wise
men movies: “Elf,” “Home Alone,” and “Love Actually.”
4. Justin Bieber’s Christmas album. Hear me out. Actually, hear HIM rap “Drummer Boy” with Busta Rhymes and croon “Shawty with youuuu, with you under the mistletoe…..” and tell me you’re not a belieber. (And here’s a playlist with lots more holiday pop goodness.)
5. You get to say, “Hey, so I want (insert Cole Haan Estella boots, Jawbone Jambox, North Face Moto jacket, Lancome La Vie Est Belle, whatever-you-want here)” to a loved one and there’s a good chance you’ll get it (!!!).
The WORST 5 Things About the Holiday Season:
1. You get fat. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but chances are you’re going to pack on something, whether it’s 2 pounds or 27 with a vow to lose it in the new year. Don’t shoot the messenger.
2. Holiday shopping for other people may just be the most stressful thing in life, and if you wait until the last minute to do it, you may actually have a panic attack in a public place.
3. It’s really hard to focus at work when A) You’re hungover, B) Your friends are already on vacation, and/or C) You’re in a sugar coma from raiding the office stash of red and green M&Ms.
4. Taking down the Christmas tree. Not only do you have to UNDECORATE it (how depressing is that?), but getting it out the door is hell on Earth, and then you’re left with a sad, empty space where it used to be and pine needles in your home’s crevices for the next six months (or eternity).
5. When all your friends are buying gifts for their significant others, asking you for advice on what to buy their significant others, and doing fun dates like ice skating, drinking hot toddies by fireplaces, and seeing holiday lights, and you’re just like:
Honestly though, there is nothing I hate more (or am worse at) than ice skating. AND I get to spend the money I’d use for a boyfriend’s gift on myself.
Okay, so maybe it really is the most wonderful time of year.
And to all a good night,