Oh Easter. A time for (boozy) brunch, candy bingeing, and people who never go to church turning religious for a day. We can all agree that this holiday is THE BEST for candy, but it can get overwhelming when you’re deciding what will be worth the inevitable adult tummy-ache. Let’s break it down in no particular order. (And SPOILER ALERT: There is no chocolate bunny on this list. Personally, I think they’re average at best.)
1. Cadbury CARAMEL Egg. I know, I know. The creme egg is an Easter icon, but do you reeeeeally love it that much? I know you like the caramel more. Don’t you? Don’t lie to me! Jesus is listening!
2. Easter M&Ms. DUH. Christmas colors ain’t got nothin’ on these pastels. And the bunny ears on each little candy-coated shell? Adorable genius.
3. Peeps. If you don’t like Peeps on Easter, you have no soul. The sugar content may be higher than Snoop
Dogg Lion on 4.20, but chowing down on those neon, melt-in-your-mouth delicacies is so worth the hangover.
4. Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. Is it just me or do the eggs taste like, 187938420 times better than the cups? And that’s saying a lot because the cups are incredible. Bottom line: These are perfection. The more you eat, the happier you feel. Until you get sick.
5. Starburst Jelly Beans: I love me some Jelly Belly, but Starburst beans just feel right on Easter. Maybe it’s because they’re a little bigger (bigger is better) and a tad juicier (also a good thing). Is anyone else getting turned on?
6. Cadbury Mini Eggs. Another clear winner. These are probably what I get most excited about when Easter candy hits the shelves. The hard shell, the melt-in-your-mouth chocolate in the middle, the small bags so you don’t feel like a fat ass (even though I’ll eat, like, five of them).
8. Russel Stover Coconut Nest. You all know I’m obsessed with coconut and Easter candy is no exception. I love these little nests of perfection, but if they made them with Starburst jelly beans, I would literally die.
9. Butterfinger Nest Eggs. Something about these nest eggs are just so gosh darn amazing (we don’t say the Lord’s name in vain on Easter), I could eat them by the handful. Oh wait, I do. The Nestle Crunch ones are equally as tasty.
10. Dove Coconut Creme Eggs. Last but certainly not least is a newbie this year. I bought a bag of these at Target, couldn’t wait until I got to my car to sample one, and basically had an orgasm in the parking lot.
And that, my friends, is what Easter is all about.