Overheard in the bedroom:
Her: “I wish your d*ck was a piece of bacon.”
Him: “I wish you tasted like bacon.”
Well guess what, meat lovers? Your wildest sexual fantasies have come true!
(And if there was a line on this blog, we may have just crossed it.)
That’s right. Bacon freaking lube ($12) and bacon condoms ($10, lubricated with Baconlube, of course). First of all, let me disclose that Baconlube has been around for a bit so you may have heard about/tasted it, but I was NOT aware at a Pure Romance party recently when we were discussing lube (specifically one that tasted like maple syrup and whether guys were really THAT into waffles), and I was all, “What they really need is a bacon-flavored lube!” Well, someone beat me to the
punch pig, but I’m still taking partial credit for this genius invention in my own head.
As for the condoms, I need to tread carefully with my opinions on the matter before this turns into Witty + Porny, but I will say while they’ve surely got the novelty factor, they ARE made with the highest-quality latex so you won’t be making any little piglets while you’re going hogwild. Personally, the aroma/taste of bacon doesn’t really turn me on, and if I’m going to have “breakfast in bed,” I’d prefer a flavor more in the mimosa or greyhound family, but I can certainly respect this concept. I am, however, going to draw the line at anything that looks/tastes/smells like sausage. Because that’s just too easy.
Happy porking, everyone!