You guys. I consider myself pretty in-the-know when it comes to pop culture. I’m often one of the first to alert masses (or tens) of people to breaking news items like Adam Levine getting engaged (*sob*) and that sorority girl email (remember the #CuntPunt?) via social media, but I JUST found out about this video while watching a Jimmy Kimmel RERUN last night. I am so pathetic.
I have so much to say.
1. First of all, I’m pissed at all my friends. I KNOW some of them knew about this and didn’t tell me, which brings me to…
2. Channing is my Number One and has been since 2006 and all my girlfriends are well aware. Bitches.
3. 7 MILLION+ people have seen this and I knew nothing about it. Mortifying.
4. Aside from CT, this video includes almost all of my favorite things in life: The beach, alcohol, over-dramatized ’90s R&B-style singing, humping a Channing Tatum cardboard cutout (what?), champagne, Jimmy Kimmel getting made fun of, Miley Cyrus trying too hard to look like a slut, cocktails, and most importantly…sexual innuendos. How could the Internet have kept this from me?
5. No one better hide anything like this from me ever again. Or I will Channing ALL OVER your Tatum.
Just kidding. I’m not that kind of girl.
Also, click HERE for a charming Channing interview and music video outtakes, although everyone has probably already seen those, too, because I’m a complete behind-the-times loser now.