I don’t know about you guys, but every time I have a sexual encounter, I think, “Ohmygod, someone should be taping this right now because it’s seriously as good as a porn.”

I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.

I’m not a big porn watcher; I’m more into sexting (with a partner I trust, of course) and I’ve always had a pretty vivid imagination. But I do know porn is a world of perfectly sized and groomed private parts, bleached b-holes, and flattering angles.

And real sex is not.

This video demonstrates the vital statistics of porn sex vs. real sex with fruits, vegetables, chicken, chocolate, and other common items from the fridge.

So ladies, if your man asks if you want breakfast in bed, make sure he’s not referring to this video. I’ll never look at pancakes with whipped cream the same way again…

LYLAS,
Ashley

Comments

  1. Peach says:

    OMG, the papaya. *snort*

Category

Videos

Tags

, , , ,