What a week, friends! Miley Cyrus got impregnated by a sledgehammer, we all found out that “epic” twerking video was fake (DUH), and I spent four hours in the Atlanta municipal court for a minor traffic violation (#GoodTimes). Here’s everything else that went down:

1. This breaking story from The Onion nails it: “Man Puts Glass Of Water On Bedside Table In Case He Needs To Make Huge Mess In Middle Of Night.”
water bedThis happened to me just last Saturday night; I didn’t clean it up in the middle of the night (duh), then woke up Sunday morning and stepped into a puddle of water when I got out of bed. Nothing starts your day on a better foot.

2. So there’s a tiger with Down’s Syndrome…and his name is Kenny Rogers (seriously). Apparently, lots of white tigers have issues because they’re inbred, but Kenny is the first one with such a multitude of conditionsinbred-white-tiger-kenny-2Okay, breeders, that’s enough. If we only see orange tigers for the rest of our lives, I’m sure most of us will live. End the inbreeding.

3. Our male blogger Tough Love Tom comes up with a Syria solution.
Screen Shot 2013-09-13 at 1.32.29 PM
Sounds like a plan to me.

4. The angriest customer service meltdown of all time. This tape leaked (unless it’s another Jimmy Kimmel prank), and it’s a doozy for sure. You may even start to feel a little uncomfortable (or scared) at how crazy angry this dude gets (NSFW).


Although my favorite customer service call is still (and always will be) this one:

5. Mumford & Sons got kicked out of a strip club.
0909-mumford-and-sons-getty-3That’s right. After their show on Tuesday night (which was amazing, btw), the folk-crooning, seemingly sweet band responsible for amazing videos like this got kicked out of Atlanta’s Clermont Lounge for knife fighting and trying to snort Molly off dancer Blondie’s famous, beer-crushing breasts.

Or something like that.

Cheers to the freakin’ weekend!

LYLAS,
Ashley

Comments

  1. Melissa says:

    So many feels for that poor tiger! Hope he’s a happy camper.

    and LMAO at M&S at the Clermont! My only question: what song did Winston sing?

  2. Dianne says:

    Sadly, Kenny (Rogers! yes, his last name was Rogers) passed away in or around 2008. Big fan of his work.

  3. Carlen says:

    I like your account of why they got kicked out way better than the real reason.

  4. Marlena says:

    Okay so I thought the tiger thing was funny. But I showed it to my fiancé who’s sister recently had a downs baby and he said “But the poster bases their comment on a fallacy that Down’s is a result of inbreeding… Very rude to the special needs community”.

  5. Marlena says:

    Omg I think I know the guy on the other end of that call!!! That old man would close his door at work and scream like that. I got so scared the first time I heard it I had to leave the building! ROFL

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