If you can believe it, my shower is stocked with a lot of products (sadly, no detachable shower head, though). I have multiple shampoos and conditioners, soaps, scrubs, face washes/exfoliators, etc. because I like to have options (also why I overpack for every trip). But as a single lady, the one surprising item you will find in my shower is a big ol’ bottle of men’s body wash.
They wake you up. Remember those Zest commercials in the ’90s with the guy in the shower just getting totally refreshed, cleansed, and woken up during his morning rinse (because you’re not fully clean until you’re ZESTfully clean, duh)? That’s the magic of dude products–they always smell crisp and stimulating and have some special, secret ingredient that immediately wakes you up in the a.m. and makes your skin and senses tingle. Kinda’ like morning sex (minus the bad breath).
They clean better. Guys are dirtier than girls. They sweat harder and heavier, and when they do manly stuff like yard work, car maintenance, mountain biking, playing sports, etc., they get extra gross. Also, they don’t change their sheets as often as they should and sometimes wear stuff out of the dirty clothes pile (you know it’s true). This means that products meant for dudes have to work harder to get all that sweat, grease, and grime off their bodies (at least that’s what I tell myself). So when I’m extra sweaty after Flywheel, running in the Atlanta heat, or changing my car’s oil after a grueling game of ultimate frisbee, I reach for my man soap.
They’re cheap as f*ck. That massive bottle of Dove Men+Care was on sale for like, $3 (regularly $4). A SMALLER bottle of Dove female body wash is at least $5. Conspiracy? Maybe. Or companies just know that a lot of dudes would rather smell bad than pay more than a five-spot for soap (especially when they’re in college). I know not all guys are like that, and I do appreciate when they have fancier Jack Black, Kiehl’s etc. products in their bathroom. (Speaking of, Kiehl’s Cross-Terrain All-in-One Refueling Wash is ahhh-mazing and so refreshing.)
It’s like showering with a dude….without showering with a dude. I do love that “man smell” (you know, what every cologne, body wash, etc. has undertones of), so when you use dude’s products, you get to breathe this in without having a guy all up in your personal space. Don’t get me wrong–I can be down for couples’ showers (and not the kind where you have to bring presents and play stupid games), but I dated a guy who ALWAYS wanted to do the shower thing, so I’ve had my fill (for life). Although one steamy morning (literally), I was hungover, hadn’t eaten yet, and passed out mid-hookup. That changed his tune for a while.
And that, my friends, is why you’ll find me in the men’s “beauty” aisle during a #TargetBlackout, sniffing bottles (not to be confused with huffing). There are certainly some body washes that smell too manly (I’m talking to you, Axe), but when you find one with just enough dude scent and that refreshing tingle, you’ve found The One.
It’s a lot easier than finding an actual man you want to shower with daily.