Halfway through Day 2 and I’m still alive and have not started hallucinating yet OR eyeing Dewey’s food with envy. In fact, I’m actually feeling pretty good (and I hear Days 3-5 are even better). BUT, I want a cup of coffee so badly that I had to put my Keurig in my coat/costume closet until I have the strength to look at it and not get emotional. Yesterday wasn’t too bad, once I got past the “Holy shit, I’m two hours in and my stomach is screaming at me” freakout. The thing with this cleanse is that you’re drinking a juice every two hours, so you don’t really get THAT hungry; you just want something to chew. I had a handful of almonds yesterday and a tomato (#SUPERFOOD!) with my dinner juice. And just when you think you can’t handle any more liquid, you get to drink your sixth juice of the day, the Roots Health Nut almond milk, which is basically an orgasm in a bottle. I already can’t wait to get off drink it again tonight.

Dewey is also a fan.
1011738_10101068428996648_447571470_nA couple highlights/lowlights: Last night, I saw this tweet from @AllyBurnettDark chocolate peanut butter cookies with Reese’s cups. #baking #foodporn #cookies #peanutbutter http://instagram.com/p/e53E2CtVDB/. I sat there for a good 10-20 seconds deciding whether I should open that link. And I did. Then I punched myself in the face.

This morning, I woke up (feeling skinny, SCORE!), had my first juice of the day (plus a few almonds) and went to Flywheel where I had surprisingly good energy and finished the class with close-to-normal numbers. HOWEVER, I had to get up and use the restroom (number one, calm down) during class, which I have never had to do in the 82083759237453453048534 times I’ve been there. So yeah…drinking 96 ounces of juice a day (plus water) makes you have to pee a lot. Who knew?

Then I had to pick up macarons from one of the city’s most incredible bakeries for a photo shoot and pretty much wanted to die.
maesI swear to God, those cupcakes, muffins, and whoopie pies broke into a flash mob to En Vogue’s “Never Gonna’ Get It” when I walked in.

Ok, maybe I am hallucinating.


And now, let’s check in on Liza (pictured with Maebe, who did NOT like the juice as much as Dewey):

Here’s the upside, y’all: I’M STILL ALIVE!! No, wait…that’ a little dramatic. What I mean to say is I actually feel really surprisingly GOOD waking up on Day Two. I made it to the gym (early, which never happens) and worked out pretty hard for an hour. Granted, my body could still likely be running off of the stored fat (sorry, “energy”) I racked up this past binge-fest of a weekend. On past cleanses, it’s the second day that my body gets all, “Really? REALLY?! This #&$% again?!” and shuts down on me in some silent protest for coffee and carbs. But I’m hoping that–maybe, just maybe–my body is onto my tricks and has worked through its transitions early.

My low point: I’d say the worst part of Day ONE would have been getting a little behind on the juice schedule. They say you’re supposed to have one of these tasty green beverages every two hours and, well, real life + Monday catch-up meetings = me managing to go about four hours between Juice ONE and TWO. This led to some pretty low energy toward late afternoon and, when I opened an email that should have come with a NSFJuicing warning in the subject line ( an eyeful of food porn in the form of turkey chili with melted cheese), I had some regrettable thoughts of abandoning this whole project for the nearest box of Goldfish. Instead, I just chugged a couple extra juices in an hour and buried myself in work until the feelings (and the smells of co-workers’ spaghetti lunches) passed.

My high point: Meeting my new love: HEALTH NUT ALMOND MILK. After a day of drinking green, my taste buds were pretty much swooning over every last drop of the almond, date, vanilla bean and sea salt goodness. I’m pretty sure I’d still feel this way in real life (i.e., when I’m not on a juice cleanse and subject to outbursts over smelling spaghetti) but one can never be sure. All I know is that right now, I’m counting the seconds until I can see that lovely little bottle of almond again tonight…. Four more juices to go.

Stay tuned for more juicy journaling!

**Roots Juices will be doing a coupon code for Witty + Pretty readers within the next week or so (they’re just slammed right now with demand), so stay tuned for that if you’re interested in doing a cleanse!

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Join the conversation! 5 Comments

  1. Thanks so much for sharing! I’ve been considering a juice cleanse for a while but needed to hear from a normal person that I won’t suffer from hallucinations or attack coworkers with bagels. Please keep us posted on discounts – especially for us out-of-towners who would need it shipped.

  2. Best success I’ve had with cleanses is to think of your juice as an IV drip: KEEP SIPPING AND CONSUMING. You don’t want your blood sugar to drop and get the “GETINMYMOUTHRAWTNOW” kinda cravings! Also, make sure you’re drinking a ton of water and maybe ease up on your workouts a bit while you’re detoxing. Your body is cleansing, so don’t tax it with a ton of cardio! xxoo

  3. Thanks so much for sharing. I just finished my first 3 day juice cleanse last week. I can feel your pain! I was craving food that I never eat- like KFC! Strange! I cheated a little and ate steamed veggies (if you can call that cheating- lol) I feel great and now actually miss the juices. I felt good knowing that I was putting so much goodness in me. I’d like to incorporate the juices into my everyday diet. I think I lost about 5 lbs too. Good luck and it’s worth it!

  4. […] Wish us luck on the home stretch and pray for no more sneak meat attacks. If you’re just tuning in, catch our other juicy journals HERE and HERE. […]

  5. […] the prior juicy journal entries, click HERE, HERE, and […]


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