While I was drinking Europe dry traveling last week, I re-posted an article I wrote a year prior about my mortifying vibrator incident in London’s Heathrow airport.

Well the Internet (and self-pleasure) Gods were smiling on me because a few days later, I received this email:

jimmy janeI mean…if you ever get an email that says “with all the abundance of vibrators I travel with”, you know it’s going to be good. It was also nice to know I am not alone.

And then “We’d love to send you our new vibrator.” I HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE IT, you guys. And the one they’re sending me goes on my fingertips (!?) and can pass as headphones. Whaaaa?? I haven’t been this intrigued since the McRib.

Obviously, I had to peruse JimmyJane’s travel tips, and I pulled out (no pun intended) a few highlights for you curious readers:
jimmyjane1. “When you pack your bag, don’t forget the essentials – passport, sunscreen, and your favorite vibrator.”
Got it. Passport to get you on (the plane), vibrator to get you off.

2. “Bringing a vibrator on your carry-on luggage is the only way to guarantee that your beloved companion won’t disappear. Baggage screeners may not know what it is and remove it just to be safe.”
I would pay to see TSA agents gathered around a hot pink vibrator trying to determine if it’s a bomb or not.
vibrator

3. “Though TSA squashed reports of a 7” limit, they have recommended people stay clear of packing larger “club-like” pleasure products in their carry on.”
I think we all know what’s going on here. TSA has penis envy.

4. “While it may be tempting to insist your vibrator is really a pencil, chew toy, or marching band baton, lying could land you in hot water. Keep it brief and straightforward.”
If you have a vibrator that resembles a marching band baton, you may have issues.
baton
Those are certainly some solid tips (heh), but then again, you could always forego even bringing a sex toy on vacay and try to find a real man to sleep with. You won’t have any size limitations and you’ll even welcome the strip search.

Happy travels!

LYLAS,
Ashley

Top two images from JimmyJane, baton image from auburntron.com.

Category

Stories, Travel

Tags

, , , , ,