Guess what, guys?! I’m back on the workout train and feeling motivated (just like the rest of the assholes who are filling up your fitness classes and hogging your ellipticals for the next month). Since all I did from Thanksgiving to New Year’s was drink, go out to eat, and crush Christmas cookies, it’s time to get serious if I want to wear anything besides elastic waistbands in 2014. While I still love my Flywheel (always and forever), I’m going to mix it up and try a whole boatload of fitness classes over the next few months and report back……EVEN hot yoga and CrossFit (Lord, help me). First up…
Name: Chaos Conditioning | Interval Fitness Evolved
Nickname: “This Sh*t Cray”
The basics: Owner/creator Jeff Baird (pictured with me at the top) says, “My interval conditioning programs push, confuse, and use the body in as many unique and challenging ways as possible, and the body will respond to the ‘chaos’ with improved strength, endurance, and body composition.” In the hour-long Complete Chaos class, you’ll move in small groups to various stations that include everything from treadmills to TRX to kettlebells to ropes to weights to burpees to squats to stuff you’ve never even heard of. It’s hard, it’s fast-paced, and it’s a total body workout that ends with a floor ab set (read: holiday pooch minimizer). Check the Facebook page for pics.
The WOW factor: The music is loud and awesome (professional DJ setup so the sound is top-notch). Feel free to Dougie from station to station and twerk during squats.
Great for: Whipping your ass into shape. There’s plenty of cardio but a lot of weight training and toning to really make a change in your body, especially if you’re in a fitness rut.
Loved: Not knowing what’s coming next. Every class is different so you’re never bored and for me, the hour flies by. If I had to do an elliptical for 30 minutes, it would feel like 3 hours and I would literally punch myself in the face. I also love Jeff’s instructing style–super motivating, but not screaming at you like you’re on the Biggest Loser (I can’t get down with that).
Dis-loved: No real complaints. The space is small, so if there’s a full class, it can get a a little “cozy”, but it’s definitely workable.
Toughness (scale of 1-10): 8.5. It’s as ass-kicker for sure, but you won’t die (because just when you think you might die, you get a breather). However, with every class different, there will surely be sessions in the 10 (“OMG I’m gonna’ die) range and ones that aren’t as tough.
Amenities: Minimal. There is water (I bring my own bottle and fill up) and towels. No showers, but there ARE hair ties in the bathroom (which smells great, btw).
Date potential: For guys–strong; for gals–not so much. The class is about 80% (or more) women, but some guys do show up on evenings and weekends, and there is often partner work in the class; so if you spot someone you want to get sweaty with, snatch him/her up when the time comes. And after class, the open space is conducive for lingering/flirting.
Pricing: First one is free, single session $30, and lots of package options ($200 for a month unlimited). BUT, Chaos is currently on the Peerfit Passport, which gives you two classes each at five different studios for just $59 right now (whaaa?). You do the math and scoop that thang up while the offer stands, because the other studios are great, too.
Not in Atlanta? While Chaos is unique in certain ways, there are similar classes in every major city. Just look for the keyword “interval training” (“high intensity” is good, too). Look, here are oodles of them in NYC (who says oodles?).
‘Til the next sweat!
*Have a class you want me to review? Hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org.