What…..a week it’s been. It’s moments like these when you realize just how much time people have on their hands. I received a smidge (read: gargantuan shit ton) of backlash from my post about “crashing the Georgia Half-Marathon” in which people called me a “bandit” (hilarious term, btw) and treated me like I just blew up a puppy shelter then punched their grandma. RunnersWorld.com even EPICALLY BURNED ME (for the record, Mark Remy, I never say LOL), and when NBC News called me on my cell phone while I was in Trader Joe’s, I realized I’d made it in this world (albeit, as the country’s most controversial runner for the week). Yesterday, I did an interview at Atlanta’s NBC affiliate, and it was a truly awesome experience as a handful of anchors I respect took the time to tell me how much they enjoyed my blog post and confirm that yes, people are crazy (one of the anchors….was even a marathon runner). And when anchor Jeff Hullinger compared me to my idol, I freaked the F out on the inside. (Click below to play.)

So there you have it. I had an idea (inspired by another chick’s genius idea) for a funny blog post about selfies and the Georgia Half-Marathon. You guys, I’m a comedian (ish), I partake in “stunts” (sometimes even unknowingly), and knew it would make for some entertainment and portray Atlanta in an awesome light because Atlanta is awesome. I figured I would run part of the course, get some cool pics, and call it a day, but once I got going, I really wanted to finish (call me crazy!). I was not officially part of the race, there is no proof on their records that I ran it, I won’t have finish line pictures or a T-shirt, and it won’t help me qualify for anything, because that’s what paying runners receive. I have paid for the race before (fun fact: When I ran it in 2009, I helped raise $4k for local charity Kate’s Club) and I will do it again (I have already registered for 2015).

And I DO know the post showed the race and our city in a positive light (hello, Baton Bob!?) and gave a lot of people laughs (while simultaneously turning others into raging lunatics). However, I understand why people see this as wrong, and my sincerest apologies go out to all you runners who are losing sleep because you feel that I have ROBBED you of your racing experience like a thief in the night. I did send a letter to the Georgia Marathon and just put my check in the mail to Girls On the Run….but not before taking a selfie.
girls on the run race selfie(And that’s not my address anymore, so don’t go burning down that building.)

But you trolling folks with your cruel, personal, hypocritical comments, stalking my personal Facebook and Instagram, and being ugly and vicious is just sad. I have the utmost respect for people who can express their opinions in an intelligent, mature, and KIND manner (I’m talking to you, GooberMonkey), which I have not seen much of with this ordeal. If you spend your time writing cruel things to people on the Internet and feeling happy when you hit send, I hate to break the news to you, but you’re a BULLY, plain and simple. And if you’re an adult, it’s even sadder.

I’m glad this is winding down, so the trolls can stop crucifying me and go back to worrying about the missing Malaysia plane, Crimea crisis, violence in schools, or at least something worthwhile in their own lives. And to everyone who found the humor in this blog and has been supportive, thank you from the bottom of my bandit heart.


*And I’ll be back to regularly scheduled, potentially controversial content next week (ahem, push presents).  

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