atlanta lil jon

Get your weekend on, warriors.

WHAT UP WEST EGG
Did you guys know West Egg (one of the best breakfast/brunch spots in all the land) serves chicken and waffles on Friday nights? I mean, WHAT? If that isn’t an amazing Southern date night (or eat alone in the corner with your iPhone night), I don’t know what is. Each month they have a new selection and this month is a doozy:
west egg atlanta chicken wafflesBasically, it’s chicken, waffles, and the beach in your mouth, which is a certified oral orgasm. Wait…

BUT I bring up West Egg in the first place because it’s their 10-year anniversary, and all month, they are collecting donations to raise $10K for the Atlanta Community Food Bank. You donate and they’ll match each dollar until they reach the goal (details here). Feed yourself, feed others, feel good.


DUMBEST INSTAGRAM OF THE WEEK

I saw this idiotic meme on the ol’ Insta yesterday and it stopped me dead in my scroll.
instagram meme
What……does that even mean? And is this supposed to be a play off the (in)famous Marilyn Monroe quote trashy girls put on their MySpaces? You know the one.

marilyn monroe quotes
Anyway. Dudes, if you post this, it’s a good thing you are hitting the gym because your brain and/or personality isn’t landing you any chicks.


HELLO, WEEKEND

Andrew Santino: This hilarious ginger who you may recognize from ABC’s Mixology, Punk’d, The Office, and more is performing at the Atlanta Improv all weekend and my friend Neal Reddy is opening for him.

andrew santino comedian
I mean, when else are a frighteningly bearded brown person and an acceptably bearded redhead going to entertain you on the same night (besides when you’re watching Homeland)? I will be at the Friday 8 p.m. show laughing my ass off, and if you approach me and mention Witty + Pretty, I will buy you a drink or give you an awkward side hug. Take your chances.

AND GET THIS! Use coupon code ‘Eskimo’ for the show and get FREE tickets. Seriously. Free. AND that promo code lasts through April 30 and is good for $20 off ALL shows excluding Doug Stanhope on the 16th and 17th. I know it seems too good to be true, but like the last creepy guy who tried to hook up with you said, “Just let it happen.”

Yum Yum Dessert Co: Put on your stretchy pants, because a new diet ruiner is coming to town. Remember the hot pink Yum Yum Cupcake truck? Well now they have a full-on storefront with sundaes, pastries, macarons, ice cream sandwiches, fancy espresso drinks, and more. Doors will open at 9:30 a.m. on Friday, April 11, and grand opening activities include dessert samplings, takeaways, and complimentary mini cupcakes for the first 100 customers. Which we all know is just an appetizer for this:
yum yum ice cream sandwich

Fashion Blogger Pop-Up Shop: Ever want to shop in fashion bloggers’ closets? DUH. Y’all know how I feel about fashion bloggers and their majestical talents. Well this Saturday, some of Atlanta’s best are actually selling amazingness from their personal collections! Insider info: Vintage gems from Tia of The Fashion Lush (we’re talking Chanel pants, Lanvin scarf, etc.) and some of My Style Vita Jessica’s statement jewelry and handbags. AND you get free cocktails AND desserts from Yum Yum Dessert Co. (and we just came full circle). Also, proceeds benefit Dress For Success. Get on this, gals.
fashion bloggers valentines


OUR CRAZY NEIGHBOR

Why is every ridiculous news story out of Florida? You could read me a headline (“Man Has Sex With Goat for Meth”, “Woman Gets DUI with 16 Parakeets in the Trunk of Her Toyota Tercel”) and I would immediately know it was in Florida.

This week, a woman trashed a McDonald’s like an ’80s rock band in a HoJo wearing nothing but a thong…and she paused only in her path of destruction to guzzle ice cream straight from the machine.
mcdonalds florida lady rampageThen apparently, she concluded the rampage with a fry feast in the kitchen, so I think we all know, bipolar or not, she has her priorities in order.

In other Florida news, a man burned down his apartment trying to clear it of bug infestation. Turns out, the place was a dirty shit hole filled with trash and beer cans everywhere (hence the bugs). You think he’ll get his security deposit back?

Lastly, a “high-ranking Hialeah official” got caught with his pants down…and a meth pipe in his b-hole.

Thank you Florida for always making Georgia look good.

Until next week, friends (and if you actually dig this, feel free to share, FB, Tweet, Snapchat, Friendster it and show the city some love!)…

LYLAS,
Hess

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Atlanta Only

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