Watch this hot mess.

(Sorry it starts playing automatically. Just hit the play arrow and wait out the commercial.)

Ok. So.

1. SHE HAS HER DAMN CELL PHONE ON STAGE WITH HER. Picture having your cell phone on the table at a really fancy restaurant and then multiply that trashy factor by 65. But then again, from the looks of what people wear to the BET Awards, it’s more comparable to a T.G.I.Friday’s then a four-star establishment. But still…someone in her entourage couldn’t have held her iPhone during this ratchet disaster?

2. She immediately brings up that she has won this award five years in a row. EW. Take a moment and picture Beyonce doing that. She would never.

3. Her voice. I just can’t. I used to HARDCORE love Nicki’s music (Pink Friday is still one of my favorite albums ever), and I still appreciate her, but listening to her speak is like nails on a chalkboard. Acrylic, french-tip nails.

4. She throws shade at Iggy Azalea. For one, I love the phrase “throwing shade.” Then she does this awful, exaggerated, arrogant twist-and-hair-flip thing and takes her obnoxious voice to whole new level to claim she’s not throwing shade. Nicki’s going to lose her damn mind when Iggy wins a Grammy.

5. She describes a near-death experience that involves TMZ (what?) and makes zero sense, and the audience laughs, which I can only hope is a sympathy laugh because that’s when they realized she was officially losing it.

6. She says, “I’ma do ME.” TWICE. Because no one got tired of that phrase from Jersey Shore in 2011.

7. She thanks BET for honoring au-then-tic-ITY!, which is interesting because as the Gawker article so eloquently states: “Rich words for a superhuman pop goddess who is now better known for her EDM-style audience-pandering Top 40 hits, day-glow wigs, and endless endorsement deals, than she is for the relatively straightforward hip-hop of her pre-fame mixtapes, but whatever.”

Excuse me while I turn I.G.G.Y. back on.


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