The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has been so highly anticipated, mainly because everyone is wondering how they’re going to put two hours of kinky sex on the big screen and not rate it XXXXX. Well, it’s here.
1. I got zero lady boner from the actor playing Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Bummer.
2. For maybe the first time ever, a movie will be better scripted than the book since the book was pretty much THE WORST WRITING EVER (I couldn’t get halfway through the first one).
3. That haunting version of “Crazy in Love” is amazeballs and I need it on my sexy playlist immediately.