I went to Sam Smith at The Tabernacle on Monday night, and I will share with the world that it was one of the most incredible concerts I’ve ever been to in my life (seriously). But what it made it even BETTER were all the people in front of me with their phones in the air during most of the show.
People and their smart phones have totally fucked up the live music experience, and before you go HAM in the comments and call me a hypocrite, let me explain. I don’t expect everyone to leave their phones untouched throughout an entire concert (some of you would hyperventilate). We are in a social media age where the mindset (for many) is if you don’t Facebook/Instagram/tweet it, it didn’t happen. If you do something awesome, NOT posting it is NOT an option. I get it. I wanted to share a snippet of my Sam Smith experience on Instagram, so I held my phone up for 15 SECONDS during my favorite song then put it away not to be touched again. However, Sammy himself encouraged us to raise our phones during his “How Will I Know” cover and I was like, HELL YES THIS IS GOING ON SNAPCHAT. But had that not happened, I would have been just fine with my phone in my purse, fully engaged in the show and that glorious golden angel voice, knowing I had captured just enough to
brag share on social media.
But I’m talking to you mother f*ckers who feel the need to video anything more than an entire song. No, scratch that–you folks who feel the need to video anything more than TWO TOTAL MINUTES of a concert. Here’s why you need to quit that shit.
1. Why exactly are you doing it again? Did the venue hire you to record the entire show? Did your friends/family ask you to record the entire show? Are you hoping to catch something crazy like Iggy Azalea falling off stage or Justin Bieber puking and sell it to TMZ for millions? (Don’t worry; you’re not that lucky.) Or are you really planning on going home and re-watching your shitty videos to relive the experience?
Which brings me to…
2. No one wants to see your shitty videos. Nothing like a dark, far away, shaky iPhone concert video. Come on, guys. Are you really going to put that on YouTube? No one wants to see it. Are you going to send it to your friends? They don’t care either. Get your 10 seconds for Snapchat or 15 seconds for Instagram and call it a day. (And like, how much storage do you have anyway?)
3. You’re annoying people. What if I came into your house during your favorite show and sat in front of the TV with my phone in the air? Would you mind? You probably would. Stop being an asshole.
4. You’re missing the concert. If your phone is out, you’re not fully present. Most likely, you paid to see this band/artist you really like perform right in front of your face, but instead of taking it in, you’re watching it through a smart phone lens and thinking of how you’re going to hashtag it later. It’s sad, really. I’ll tell you—there was a teenage chick in front of me at Sam Smith recording EVERY SONG with her phone in the air (not even trying to be discreet). I finally got so fed up, I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to please lower it. Being scolded by an “adult” shook that betch to her core; she looked at me terrified and never took her phone out again. But guess what? That girl danced and sang and had her hands in the air during the last few songs, which she had not done the entire show before I
lit her up reprimanded her. I felt accomplished, and I hope she realized what a difference it makes to be fully present. So what if I scared her into it?
5. You’re a douche. You look like a loser who doesn’t get out much. Sorry I’m not sorry. And if you have a goddamn TABLET in the air recording (which we did see at Sam Smith), please go home after the concert, punch yourself in the face, and never venture into public again.