I never even DREAMED this day would come, but my favorite comedic sketch of all time (along with every other white girl I know) has not only turned into a song we can #TurnUp whilst drinking white zin and taking mirror selfies before going out on Saturday night, but also…A MUSIC VIDEO. Starring Sara (with no H) alongside…who else but…Will.I.Am (AKA Mir.I.Am).
The school dance. The pillow fight. The headgear. Questlove DJ’ing the school dance. The cupcakes. The outfit changes. The xylophone. THE HEADGEAR.
And because you get so caught up in all of that production value (and the headgear), it’s easy to miss some of the key things this song is all about. Presenting the full list of Things That Make Sara Say EW!:
Sluts (obvi) Basic bitches (SICK!)
Butt implants (srsly?)
Ratchet girls (what the what?)
Selfies (over it)
Duck lips (lame)
Facetime (whatevs) Reclining in airplane seats (like, really?) Vine (OMFG) Retweeting tweets (#stupid)
Red Bull (no effing way)
Casseroles (um, no)
Trapper keepers (are you kidding me?) Creepers (OHMYGOD GET LOST) Sneakers (puh-lease)
Stepdad Gary (EW!)
Basically Sara (with no H) has it all figured out. But she should really be nicer to Gary. He means well.