Unless you were one of those unicorn children with a perfectly polished stay-at-home and/or overbearing mother who made sure your hair was always on point from birth ’til now (and is probably still meddling), you had at least one to six periods in your life when your hair was an absolute WTF disaster…ESPECIALLY if you lived through the ’80s. I feel like I had more of these moments than most kids because 1) My mom let me make all my fashion and beauty decisions from age 5 on, and 2) I knew nothing about fashion and beauty. Awesome.
Luckily I love my hair now (when it’s actually washed/brushed)……which is an accomplishment considering there were points in my childhood when people suggested I just Sinead o’Connor that sh*t and start from scratch. It didn’t help that “Nothing Compares to You” was THE song of 1989 when my tresses were extra terrifying, but I digress.
In honor of OGX Beauty’s #HairOrDare and #BadAssHairDay campaigns, I’m sharing the best of the worst…
1. The Long Bowl
Was my favorite band The Monkees? Did I aspire to look like a little Asian boy? Those silky brunette locks could have been so cute, but instead I’m a Lloyd Christmas pumpkin pie haircutted freak about six years too early.
2. The Bowl Mullet
Bowl in the front, mullet in the back. 7th grade boy in the front, 45-year-old redneck in the back. I hope ol’ Debbie at the Sassy Snips in Dover, Delaware (or whatever hairstylist let this happen) is still losing sleep over it.
3. My First (and Last) Perm
You can read the full story here, but let it be known I went off to my FIRST DAY OF FIRST GRADE (first day of grade school, y’all) looking like the ugly Jonas brother, except homeless.
4. The Floating Scrunchie
I mean, was this even a thing? Still in full perm mode, I thought it would be cute to take one small strand of hair and put a scrunchie around it, NOT to hold the hair back, but strictly for aesthetic purposes because school pictures. Crushing it.
5. The Mid-Head Split
I mean, WHAT in the actual f*ck is even happening here? It’s literally two different hairstyles on one head. A bowl in the front and a ponytail in the back?! Did I just want to confuse people? Did I look to a floppy-eared dog for inspiration? Was I in a sideburns phase? Why would anyone take a photo of me from the side and am I in a log flume? So many questions unanswered.
6. The Jersey BangsI may have grown up in Delaware but those high, hair-sprayed bangs made their way over state lines. However, I made the decision to only spray up half of my bangs and keep the other half down because #PrettyHurts.
7. The Skunk Stripe Highlights“Hi, I’d like to get some blonde highlights on my dark brown hair, please. No not a partial. Just two strands right in front.” Why God why? Well apparently I wanted to kick off high school with a bang and get ALL THE DUDES. This was the last of the true hair disasters, but I discovered Sun-In the following summer and didn’t find out about flat irons until college, so there were still years of scary hair way into my early 20s.
See more hair disasters and #BadAssHairDays on @OGX_Beauty‘s Instagram and each day they’re posting challenges on @OGX_Dare where you can win major prizes (worth $1k+) galore. I love this campaign and the fact that you can win stuff just for sharing your heinous (or hot) hair pics.
Brb, I have a bowl to cut.
OGX provided product and compensation. The opinions I have shared about the products are my own.