In a past life (read: up until 2015), Miami was a destination for some of my wildest times. One summer, we literally woke up like this: (For the record, that’s a patio…and a Bebe dress…and me drunkenly defying gravity. And my best friend next to me is married with a kid on the way.)  But I’m […]

When I heard about our dictator President firing the person investigating him, then citing the absence of an investigation in the termination letter, my mind couldn’t help but draw breakup parallels. Can you imagine dumping someone because you were scared they might find out you’d been cheating…..and then when you dumped them, making sure to double […]

In case you missed my 87-minute long Facebook Live announcement or haven’t perused my Instagram (read: dog and pizza gallery) in a while, I moved from Atlanta to THE BIG APPLE. And no, I don’t actually call it that because I’m not your dad or a midday talk show host (unfortunately).  I moved to New […]

What if there was a beauty trick that made you look and feel pretty even when you’re bloated, hungover, sleep-deprived, and pale AF (because #WinterIsComing)? And I don’t mean wearing a Beyoncé mask. (PS, do they make those?) I’m talking about lash extensions, which I truly believe is the #1 beauty splurge every woman should […]

There’s a cute little political movement happening amongst Trump-supporters/Anti-Hillary-crazies this week that has fully amused me and a lot of my (intelligent) friends: BOYCOTT STARBUCKS BECAUSE THEY SUPPORT HILLARY!!! I originally saw this OUTRAGE from one of my Facebook friends and decided to smear a steaming pile of sarcasm on the otherwise supportive comment thread (my since-deleted […]

Back in April/May, I decided that this was going to be ASHLEY’S SUMMER OF FUN. The first few months of the year were total shit not great for me personally and I didn’t take any vacations, so by the time June rolled around, I was so ready to GTFO of my depression town. To kick off my two […]

Remember when this was an acceptable pool float? LOL Showing up to a pool party with one of those busted yoga mats these days is like a dude breaking out a Samsung flip phone to get a girl’s number. Sure it can be endearing (ish?), but bottom line: NOPE. Just like mobile phones, workout classes, […]

Funny story: A few months ago at a comedy show, the headliner asked “Do we have any Hillary fans in the house?” And someone called out, “Duff?” Me: (spits vodka out) Whut. No girl (bless your heart), not Hillary Duff. Hillary CLINTON, potentially the next LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. The presidential candidate who claims to […]

After one of my best friends did a SEXY AF boudoir photo shoot before her wedding, a few of us got to chatting about this rite of passage (would I do one? UM, DUH). And after a few gallons glasses of wine, we had a thought: What if men did these? Cue the uncontrollable laughter […]

The basic bitch is so 2014 (seriously Internet, stop with the listicles) but the basic bro lives on! He is confident, he is #blessed, he is fit (or at least embraces his #DadBod), he is handsome (enough), and most of all, he is social media savvy! The basic bro knows Valencia isn’t just a city […]

On the necessity scale of 1 to coffee, cleansing facial wipes are a grande triple nonfat latte (especially when you’re tired/hungover/on-the-go/all of the above). They’re perfect for getting makeup off and cleaning your skin when you just can’t muster the energy for a sink situation — and we all know how important it is to […]

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by Restylane® Lyft and Restylane® Silk. However, the thoughts and opinion are my own. While I’m obsessed with my anti-aging products and regimes, I have not hopped on the injection train quite yet. But that’s not to say that I haven’t been collecting knowledge, tips, and doctor reccs for when […]

‘Tis the season! HARK the angels! Joy to the world! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The time of year when you swear you won’t gain 5-8 pounds again but end up saying ‘fuck it’ by mid-December and spend your evenings sipping chugging red wine and indulging in decadent food instead of at the gym because […]

In a world where celebs flaunt their money on social media with pics of private jets, sold out arena shows, and selfies of their expensive faces (or asses), Katy Perry, real-life unicorn, chose to flaunt her realness with a pic from her birthday dinner at none other than this authentic Italian eatery: That’s right, she and […]

Translation: Hey, what’s up. It’s me, Adele. I know it’s been like, forever and you’ve probably moved on but I wanted to see if you’d be down to meet so we can rehash our awful breakup. I’m sure you already know this but I’m super famous (like, 10 Grammys famous) and I’m actually in LA […]

Showering is overrated, AMIRITE? Oh, you think I’m gross now? Well your mom’s gross. Sorry I didn’t mean that. Your mom is an angel. But seriously, here are six reasons you can skip the sprinkle. 1. You don’t have time. Well you DID have time but then you settled into a Sex and the City […]

At an event a few weeks ago, I noticed some girls with jewels on their faces, admittedly scoffed at it, and figured this was just some gimmicky thing the event presenter put on (“Come by the Bud Light Lime face jewelry booth for a buzz and a bedazzle!”) and not a new trend I needed to […]

Girls are notorious for being late. And no I don’t mean ALL girls so you punctual bitches can refrain from being offended and/or typing out a comment detailing your punctuality and how it’s equated to your superior success so all of us late assholes can feel like loser pieces of shit. Because we already feel […]

Oh, social media. You have changed the world for so much better and so much worse. You give us laughs, you give us tears. You bring awareness to people in need but turn murderers into celebrities. You give us brilliant pieces of literature but also comment sections that make us lose all faith in humanity. […]

You may still be recovering from the news bomb last week about TARGET SERVING ALCOHOL. For those of you I’m breaking this information to, stop hyperventilating and put down your car keys because you can’t just head to your local Target and get wine drunk right now, ok? It’s only in the very beginning stages […]

Hey guys, I know I blog about selfies and mascara and engagements and puppies, but I have to change tunes for a moment to address something that has been consuming my mind all week (and in the past), as I’m sure it has with a lot of you. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled […]

I knew I was a fan of Jessimae Peluso when I watched her on MTV Girl Code but I didn’t know I had a full-blown girl crush on her until we talked on the phone this week and my boyfriend walked in and said, “You don’t sound that excited when you talk to me.” And […]

Consideration provided by Target You guys, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m a jean snob. Most of my jeans are designer (J Brand, MiH, G-Star, Citizen, Paige, etc.) and I rarely dip below that $100 threshold for a pair (#blessed). So when Target sent me a denim mission, I was slightly skeptical because […]

Hey guys. Not sure if you knew but water intake is pretty much THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. It affects how you feel, how you look, and your overall health, weight, and energy levels. And of course we know (and despise the fact) that hangovers come from dehydration (FML). We’ve all heard the “eight glasses a […]