manservants 1

What do women want? The age-old question men ask themselves…and women probably ask themselves even more. Also, a Mel Gibson movie (that was FOURTEEN YEARS AGO by the way, FML). But this revolutionary new service out of San Fran (obvi), is attempting to give women EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT. And it’s not a stripper’s oversized penis […]

lime coconut crop

There are few things in life I love more than vodka, coconut, and the beach. Actually, maybe zero things. So when I discovered Pinnacle’s coconut vodka on my way TO THE BEACH, I flipped the F*CK out. After the liquor store employees tranquilized me and I recovered, I got my alcoholic creative juices flowing and […]

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When I was a kid, I was never without a book on my person (#NerdAlert: I would ask how long a car ride was just in case I might finish one book and need another). These days, I don’t get to read (for pleasure) as much as I’d like, but lately, I’ve been making more […]

fifty shades grey trailer

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has been so highly anticipated, mainly because everyone is wondering how they’re going to put two hours of kinky sex on the big screen and not rate it XXXXX. Well, it’s here. 1. I got zero lady boner from the actor playing Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Bummer. 2. For […]

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Mystery, humor, intrigue, suspense, and love. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE MOVIE. Keep swipin’, y’all, Ashley For more on what NOT to do on Tinder, click here. 

best guac

I just traveled to Mexico for the first time, and I must admit the thing I looked forward to most was not the beautiful beaches, not the luxurious resort, not the day trips to Playa Del Carmen and Isla Mujeres, not breaking my iPhone and cenote jumping, not the endless margaritas, not the body shots […]

tinder-flame

When the FOURTH person sent me this Tinder screen shot, I knew this gentleman had to make a Witty + Pretty appearance. So what it’s a job well Photoshopped, but still the most eye-catching, droolworthy profile photo I’ve ever seen. And nice job on coordinating the pic with the bio. I would like to know […]

beachpizza1

How the FACK is it mid-summer? I feel like Snowpocalypse was just like, last week. This has potential to be the best summer ever because: 1) It’s cooler than hot-as-balls years past, but hasn’t rained every day like last year (the WORST). 2) Killer restaurants (and more importantly, patios) continue to open and lure us in. […]

cenote azul

Before I left for Mexico, I wanted to be extra prepared (for once) to document my trip via iPhone. I picked up a portable charger and a monopod (AKA selfie stick) so I could take photos and video without my mug being all up in the camera and you guys could see more of the […]

vintage beach

Welcome to HELL, everyone. Sorry, I mean summer. (Same temperature; I get confused.) A few weeks ago I was sitting outside with a guy friend and without even skipping a beat in conversation, grabbed a napkin and put it down my shirt to wipe my boob sweat. Thank God he was just a friend, but […]

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I’m a little late to the game on this one (Buzzfeed got to it back in March, those bastards), but a big thank you to the Internet Gods for placing this beautiful male specimen in my Facebook news feed.  Yes, that is Guilherme Leao, a rent-a-cop security guard for the damn SUBWAY in Sao Paulo, […]

barcelona pic edit

I just turned #Forever31, and I look back on the past year as the best yet–growth, change, struggle, triumph, love, loss, travel, and lots of vodka (per usual). I decided to compile some things I learned this year (or kinda’ already knew, but really had experiences with). There are definitely more (for example, how to zoom […]

bull shark starboard

Oh Dewey Beach, Delaware–my favorite place on Earth and birthplace of some of the most glorious cocktails ever invented. Since I go to this majestical slice of coastal heaven every July for vacation, this month’s #PinnacleCocktailClub posts will be honoring some of the tried and true Dewey Beach elixirs. (And never forget that the standard […]

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Ok Summer 2014, I see you with all these good tunes! From I.G.G.Y to Capital Cities to Lorde to Fitz to Zedd to Hozier to the killer party anthem by Charli XCX (you know the one, from Fault in Our Stars), we’re all set for the beach, pool, gym, and dancing around naked in our homes […]

tanning bed belly ring

Sometimes you can’t help but judge. Like if you met someone and they (seriously) said, “Look me up on MySpace,” I hope you’d back away as quickly as possible. Luckily, no legitimate human being still uses MySpace so that would never actually happen, but there are PLENTY of other things people still do that blow my […]

peachtree road race bandit

Remember back when I BANDITED the Georgia Half-Marathon and the Internet exploded with hateful runners who felt my selfie stunt robbed them of their running experiences for the rest of eternity? Well because I’m a terrible person and total narcissist, love to steal, refuse to pay for anything that goes to a good cause, and […]

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You guys, I’ve tried a whole lotta’ beauty products; I’ve praised many, I’ve dissed others, and I’ve chosen not to write about some. I actually had an incident recently when a company sent me a pricier product and kept stalking asking me about when the post was going up. I finally had to say, “Listen, I […]

tribble reese lip sync selfie

My good friend and genetically #blessed male specimen Tribble Reese (you may recognize him from Bravo’s The New Atlanta) is the king of what we like to call……the #LipSyncSelfie. Every time he posts a snippet on Instagram, W+P blogger Trey is jealous, females everywhere get lady boners, and his 98293729847897349 Instagram followers go bananas. Well ol’ Tribbs […]

nicky minaj bet awards pic

Watch this hot mess. (Sorry it starts playing automatically. Just hit the play arrow and wait out the commercial.) Ok. So. 1. SHE HAS HER DAMN CELL PHONE ON STAGE WITH HER. Picture having your cell phone on the table at a really fancy restaurant and then multiply that trashy factor by 65. But then […]

usa-vs-portugal

Guess what? I am REALLY into the World Cup. I enjoy watching the sport, and I’m invested because it’s our country playing against the WORLD and we’re advancing. It’s exhilarating. I like the camaraderie of watching with friends in a bar, but I had to admit, I probably liked the game I watched by myself […]

ashley hesseltine standup

This week, I did standup at one of my favorite comedy clubs in the city, The Atlanta Improv, for open mic night, and it was a packed house as Ron White was stopping by to shut it down after amateur hour. There were 250+ people in attendance, which is the largest crowd I’ve ever performed for, plus I […]

gun violence vibrator dildo ad

OK FINE. I’m just going to go ahead and deem this week “Hilarious Commercial Week” because another one is buzzing around the Internet (literally), and it really hits close to home as this would 100% happen to me if I had children… Better than a TSA agent finding it, though… Safety first, Ashley

american standard toilet commercial

Ok I swear this isn’t turning into a “Look at these funny commercials!” blog, but this week has just been on point. (Who says on point?) This gem actually debuted on the Interweb five years ago and I have no idea how it wasn’t more popular. Supposedly based on a true story, this is truly […]

Zoolander

There are stupid/impractical/heinous fashion trends for women all the time (see: the ’90s), but that’s what being female is all about. However, when outlandish styles surface for men, they must be addressed. I have my opinions (OBVI), but I called in our resident dude-bestie-blogger Trey to give his compelling insight into some of these confusing new clothing […]