Remember when this was an acceptable pool float? LOL Showing up to a pool party with one of those busted yoga mats these days is like a dude breaking out a Samsung flip phone to get a girl’s number. Sure it can be endearing (ish?), but bottom line: NOPE. Just like mobile phones, workout classes, […]

After one of my best friends did a SEXY AF boudoir photo shoot before her wedding, a few of us got to chatting about this rite of passage (would I do one? UM, DUH). And after a few gallons glasses of wine, we had a thought: What if men did these? Cue the uncontrollable laughter […]

Translation: Hey, what’s up. It’s me, Adele. I know it’s been like, forever and you’ve probably moved on but I wanted to see if you’d be down to meet so we can rehash our awful breakup. I’m sure you already know this but I’m super famous (like, 10 Grammys famous) and I’m actually in LA […]

I knew I was a fan of Jessimae Peluso when I watched her on MTV Girl Code but I didn’t know I had a full-blown girl crush on her until we talked on the phone this week and my boyfriend walked in and said, “You don’t sound that excited when you talk to me.” And […]

In my TEN YEARS of being on Facebook and making fun of liking engagement posts, I have never witnessed as many as I did this weekend, and a lot of my friends echoed this sentiment. I’ve seen multiple ones around the holidays or on Valentine’s Day (vom), but this was on a whole new level. I […]

Ahhh ghosting. The best part of Beetlejuice but the worst part of dating. Most of us have been victimized by it at some point in our dating lives or done the victimizing. If you’re not familiar (lucky you), ghosting is when you’re dating/in a relationship with someone and he/she just disappears without any explanation. It’s […]

I watch The Bachelorette on ABC. Am I proud of it? I am. It’s wonderful. Like Justin Bieber in a bathtub wonderful. If you have no life like me and TV is your soulmate, you know we are in the middle of The Bachelorette Season 127. If you do better things with your life than […]

Dust off your penis straws, take out a loan, practice your Instagram filtering, and get ready to feign a LOT of exaggerated excitement because IT’S BACHELORETTE SEASON, BETCHES! And I mean bachelorette as in the #LastFlingBeforeTheRing but yes, it’s also ABC’s The Bachelorette season and this one might be my fave yet because #TeamKaitlyn. But […]

Lovers and friends, let me introduce you to Tinder royalty: Alexandra of the blog Toe Pick. This genius betch matches with the finest male specimens on the world’s most beloved shallow dating app and channels various personalities to communicate with them and it’s nothing short of magical. The only thing more incredible than the shit […]

Dating can be cool (I guess?) but it can also be worse than ISIS, Bill Cosby, and the McRib combined. I went on a first date a few weeks ago and was counting the seconds until the painful interview ended and I could get home to clip my toenails because that would have been about 2937492347 […]

Have you ever watched a trailer for an R-rated comedy and gotten teary-eyed because it just spoke to you so much? No? Just me? Ok moving on. I saw the trailer for Trainwreck and already know this is LITERALLY my favorite movie of all time. Why? 1. Amy Schumer (duh). Everything about her is comedic perfection–her […]

Maybe it’s because it’s on a Saturday, maybe it’s because social media gets more out of control every year minute, or maybe it’s because I did an 8-minute TV segment on it (in which I got called out for my Tindering), but Valentine’s Day is on steroids AF this year. Not to mention I just […]

Dear lovers and friends, The time has come. Yes…finally. A) I’m engaged. B) I’m pregnant. C) I’m looking for more W+P contributors. D) I gave up alcohol. E) All of the above. The answer………C (duh). And maybe B, you just never know. What? It’s my goal this year to get more funny people all up […]

I know a thing or two about relationships, not because I have been in a bunch of serious ones, but because I was born with a rare gift to offer sage wisdom and advice that I can’t actually apply to my own life. What…..a #blessing. That, coupled with my 839792742947 girl and guy friends who come […]

Confession: I have been watching The Bachelor for most my adult life and I’m not ashamed. There is literally no better show to view with friends, critique, and live tweet. Sure, seasons have had their fair share of snoozy moments, but they still never disappoint with the handpicked crop of insecure/narcissistic/batshit/desperate females, Chris Harrison’s billionaire […]

You guys know how I feel about Beyonce’s “7/11” video (three words: Christmas came early). Well, some guys have recreated it and it’s pretty damn legit. Dance moves: On point. Solo cups: Check. Chair dancing: Done. Crowded hallway dancing: Nailed it. (Although I was a little concerned about the blowdryer so close to the bathtub.) But […]

GIRLS. LOVE. INSTAGRAM. The only thing girls love more than cupcakes, coffee, Emojis, new outfits, and skinny pictures of themselves are putting cupcakes, coffee, Emojis, new outfits, and skinny pictures of themselves on Instagram, so according to my genius deductive reasoning skills, that means they literally love Instagram more than anything else in the entire universe. As for […]

Guaranteed you’ve been that girl or been in a conversation with that girl who’s like, “Ugh, I just wish there was a penis Emoji!” Like hell you do. Most girls don’t even like getting real dick pics. Why would we want tiny, cartoon dick pics splashed across our iPhone screens? No thanks. But we ladies do […]

The topic of beards always comes up amongst my girlfriends this time of year as normally clean-shaven men neglect their razors to support prostate cancer awareness, and manly men who always sport facial fur are like, “Welcome to the club, pussies.” (For the record, I’m not sure when #Movember changed to #NoShaveNovember and I’m not asking questions, […]

Fireball was that perfect guy who always lived in your city but you never knew existed. He was around, but you were too busy making out with Jose, Jim, Jack, or Goose, or partying with your red-headed slut friends to notice. But then finally in 2013 (or maybe it was 2012, you can’t really remember), […]

Praise the Lawd, I finally stopped laughing long enough to write this damn article. So here’s the situation. I’ve seen lists of “turn-offs” on the Internets before but I think they’ve all been mediocre, so I realized it was HIGH TIME to ask the females I know to share the things that kill their lady boners. I […]

Even though I knew this was coming the second I heard the question, it still made my jaw drop then start laughing hysterically. Poor Peter (and of course that’s his name). But props to him for taking it in stride. But still. I just don’t know how you come back from this.

I happen to have an arsenal of sex toys, namely vibrators. Attribute it to the fact that I co-hosted a Pure Romance party for four years in a row where I not only got free gifts but also got wasted. “Limited edition” neon yellow dildo butterfly vibrator for $80? Sure why not! My power bill […]

You know the feeling: You wake up and want to simultaneously do cartwheels, call your BFFs, and Gorilla Glue yourself to the warm body next to you so you’ll never EVER have be apart. But chances are you’ll nix the acrobatics, settle for a quick Emoji update on the group text (eggplant + heart + smiling […]