Well, I posted a full bikini shot last year, so it was only a matter of time before you guys saw me in my underwear. I guess we’re officially friends now.
So ladies, let me ask you two questions. 1) Have you ever gotten a professional bra fitting? And 2) Do you own a really nice bra (and I’m not talking Vicki’s Secret $50 special)?
If the answer to one or both of those questions is no, it’s about time to treat your ta-tas. My first fitting at Intimacy with the company founder and “bra whisperer” Susan Nethero was a game changer and I recommend it to everyone. Here’s how it goes down:
1. You go into a comfy, private fitting room with your friendly bra fit consultant.
2. She checks out your rack (don’t be shy!) and chats with you about your concerns. Any of these ring a
boob bell: More comfort, less back fat, more support, straps falling, straps or underwire digging, weight change affecting bra size, more cleavage, less cleavage, finding T-shirt bras, finding sexy bras in a large size, etc? I thought so.
3. She may show you why your current bra isn’t doing you any favors…
4. Then she goes back out into the brassiere wonderland while you text your boyfriend/husband that you’re trying on sexy underthings (if you have a man and don’t do this, we need to talk), check your Facebook, and/or critique yourself in the mirror (PS, no one notices your crow’s feet but you, so give yourself a break, beautiful).
5. Your new bosom buddy returns with handfuls of gorgeous bras, she’ll put ‘em on you and adjust (and show you how to get the most cleavage), and VOILA! You’ll be in love…and wanting to toss your ODB (ol’ dirty bra) in the trash C-A-N.
Check out the difference. I mean, thanks ODB for making me look pre-puberty flat-chested and just overall not cute.
In addition to the realization that I needed to do a lingerie inventory and toss those non-flattering f*ckers, I gained a lot of bra knowledge (braledge?), such as: You should buy bras so they fit snugly on the first (loosest) hook. They lose elasticity with time, so as that happens, you’ll tighten them to the next hook(s) so they’ll fit better longer. Also: You should be wearing your bra strap LOWER on your back for the most comfort, less back fat, AND more boost. It’s like a see-saw: The lower the strap in the back, the higher your goods up front. Exhibit A (it’s not me, btw):
That poor woman had been going through life with more rolls than a Panera and all she needed was a new bra…
Another FYI: You might be surprised about your size. I was wearing a 36B and they fit me for a 34C, and crazily enough, that actually is my size (despite what ODB is demonstrating above). Most women wear a too-large band size and too-small cup size, so you feel skinny and big-breasted when they fit you for a smaller band and bigger cup (SCORE). And don’t be alarmed if the cup size is much larger than you thought. Intimacy carries up to a K cup (not to be confused with your Keurig), so there is less variation between the sizes for the most perfect, true fit. Just like all women don’t fit into dress sizes 0, 2, 4, and 6, they don’t all fit into A, B, C, or D cups.
Intimacy’s fancy lines–PrimaDonna, Marie Jo (shown below), Empreinte, Simone Perele, etc.–are all European and made using a very intricate process with more pieces than American-made bras and the highest quality fabrics as well as a “double-coating” of the underwire for way serious comfort.
Put one on and you’ll never go back to your Victoria’s Secret numbers (and their underarm fat enhancement). Yes, they may be more expensive, but they’re going to last longer (if you treat them well) and make you feel more confident about your chest region, which for some females, is priceless. Oh, and it’s not all sexy lingerie up in there; you’ll find plenty of pretty T-shirt bras (even lace ones that surprisingly work under tees and tight tanks).
Do I wear all Intimacy bras, you ask? I wish. I need a raise (or a sugar daddy) before that happens. But I do like to treat myself to a fancy-schmancy bra and panty set twice(ish) a year, which will make for a fab collection in the semi-near future.
Intimacy has locations in Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Houston, Miami, New Jersey, New York, Orange County, Philly, San Diego, Scottsdale, and D.C. and the fitting is complimentary. If you don’t have a location near you, I recommend visiting Atlanta (I’ll buy you a drink, duh), finding a specialist in your area with great reviews, or seeing the lovely ladies at Nordstrom. And I’m not knocking Vicki’s because I know they have some fantastic fitters–I’ve just never loved their bras (sorry, ex-boyfriend who bought me one).
So grab the twins and take them to get FIT!
*Psst, we’re doing a giveaway for $100 Intimacy gift cards on the Witty + Pretty Facebook page, so head on over there (make sure you like the page) and enter to win!
Ok, now that he’s gone. This morning, I was on the The Bert Show (Atlanta’s top morning radio show, syndicated in Nashville, D.C., and six other markets) for the Women’s Panel, a no-holds barred session of lady talk, where we answered everything from how often we think about sex to how a guy can (attempt to) get out of the “friend zone” to what makes a man good AND bad in bed. We also may or may not have answered how often we “take care of ourselves” in a week…and everyone answered 100% honestly. I got to be on air with my friends Cara Weaver (yes, W+P’s fitness consultant) and Nikky Williams (you may recognize her from Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids), The Bert Show’s Kristin, plus another lovely lady, Toni Griffin, who is married with five kids and might have just been the freakiest of us all.
I was the “super single” on the panel, so I had to represent my single ladies (put your hands up!) and I hope I did you proud.
Click HERE or the image below to hear the entire bit, broken up in four parts. And the question at the top of each clip is just one of many we discussed, so get in there and listen if you want the real dirt.
Bert himself said it was the best women’s panel they’ve had, probably because we were all wasted and talking way too openly like we do at happy hour (sssh, don’t tell the station).
I’m kidding, we weren’t drunk (that I know of).
Take a listen and let me know what you think! Maybe we’ll be doing it again soon…
Remember the tears in my eyes during my first bikini wax? (If not, click HERE.) It absolutely has gotten better over time, but let’s be real–you’re ripping hair out of your skin in a sensitive area, so (some sort of) pain is a given, ESPECIALLY if you’re going Brazilian. I consulted two of Atlanta’s top hair removal experts, Myka Barbato of WAX and Raquel Souza of Sweet Peach Wax & Sugaring Studio, to share their expert tips for less ouch factor.
1. Meds. Both pros recommend taking your normal dosage of ibuprofen/aspirin 30 minutes to an hour before. It can reduce pain but also help with potential inflammation.
2. Alcohol. You can have one or two drinks to take the edge off, but Myka says, “Not too many! Alcohol thins the blood and you don’t want to be more prone to bruising, etc. just from too many cocktails!”
3. Your period. Good Lawwwd, don’t go getting waxed right before your cycle is supposed to start as you’re more sensitive down there up to three days before. You can also be sensitive up to three days after, but once you’re past that point, it’s a perfect time for a hoo-ha haircut because as Myka says, “The grow-out period isn’t so hard to bear because the last week you are most likely on your cycle and probably not getting any action anyways.” #TRUTH.
4. Pregnancy. Myka says, “During the first two trimesters, it’s business as usual, but the last one can be more sensitive.” That’s not to say it can’t be done (hello, you’re going to want to be groomed right before you have a crowd of people down there cheering on your vagina), but just be sure to go to a top-notch salon (like WAX or Sweet Peach) as they know how to handle a delicate mom-to-be.
5. Exfoliation. Raquel recommends exfoliating the area within the 24 hours before your appointment for a smoother ride. As I’ve mentioned before, I die for the sugar peach scrub exclusively sold at Sweet Peach ($20). Also, if you can take a warm shower or bath prior to your treatment, it will help open up the pores for easier and less painful hair removal.
6. Distract yourself. Chat with your waxer, make a mental to-do list, or even text/email/Facebook on your phone (no X-rated Instagrams, please). I recommend asking politely if your aesthetician minds you using your phone during the treatment, but she won’t. She gets it. (Just don’t sext with your man; being turned on during a wax could get awkward quick.) At Sweet Peach, Sex and the City plays in the treatment rooms, so I actually get excited to go and see which episode is on. Nothing like seeing Miranda’s full bush while you’re getting yours removed.
7. Numbing cream + panties. If you’re really scared of pain, Raquel recommends Dr. Edna’s BareEASE prep kit ($18-$22, available online and at Sweet Peach). Forty-five minutes prior to the treatment, you put the topical analgesic cream on the area, then slide on the latex panty to isolate the application. It’s safe and doctor-developed, and many of Raquel’s clients swear by it. I tried it and did notice less pain, but nothing takes away ALL of the discomfort (except like, an epidural).
8. Post-treatment activity. Your “baby” skin is so sensitive right after hair removal that wearing tight clothing/working out or getting your freak on within the following 24-48 hours can irritate the area leading to bumps, pimples, and ingrown hairs (OUCHIE), so keep that in mind when making an appointment. With sugaring, there’s generally less or no irritation (I can work out within 24 hours with no issues), but still keep tabs on how your body reacts. And for the love of God, don’t go getting a spray tan right after a wax/sugaring unless you are wearing thick-ass panties that cover the entire treated area. Trust me on this one.
9. Wait time. Don’t go TOO long between treatments or it can make for a more uncomfortable experience the next time (in more ways than one). Everyone is different, but three weeks to a month is ideal. I think we’ve all pushed it past the limit during those winter droughts, but when you wait two months or more, you’re getting into scary territory.
10. Shaving. Ladies, I know the scenario. Some hot guy asks you on an impromptu date/your long-distance booty call flies in town unexpected/the ex shows up on your doorstep with flowers and a much hotter physique since the breakup…….and you’re rocking full ’70s bush. You could take a razor down there, but know that if you’re a regular waxer/sugarer, this could lead to ingrowns and make your treatment more painful next time. So what’s a girl to do? I say embrace the bush. He’ll understand; or better yet, he might really dig it and you’ll be getting down like Joanie and Chachi in no time. If he’s turned off by it, send that loser packing. Then put on Sex and the City and call it a (pain-free) night.
out down there, sisters!
**I’m giving away one Brazilian wax from WAX and one Brazilian sugaring from Sweet Peach. Head on over to the Witty + Pretty Facebook page to find out how to win!**
Apparently, there’s a sexy theme on W+P this week: Legs, selfies, and now the giveaway I’m announcing. Sorry if you’re a prude and/or are easily offended by riske chat, but I didn’t plan it this way. (But then again, if that’s the case, you’re reading the wrong blog.)
ANYWAY, I’m giving away three beauty + bedroom must-haves in the final W+P 1-year anniversary giveaway, but it’s ONLY available to email subscribers and I’ll be sending out the email with how to win shortly, so if you’re not signed up, hop on it with the form to your right! I’ll be giving away three packages (no pun intended) and they include:
1. The Wittiest + Prettiest toy ever. This FOUR SPEED vibrator known as “Hidden Drama” ($39) is disguised as a lipstick case so you’ll never be busted again when you want to pack the pleasure in your purse for those slow days at work. GENIUS.
2. Real lipstick. First things first: Don’t get this confused with the Hidden Drama or you’ll have a messy situation on your
hands hoo-ha. This is Pla Beauty’s Lovestruck ($22), my favorite red lipstick of all time. It looks good on gals of all complexions and hair colors; I’m a brunette and swear by it, but so does our blonde buddy Carrie Underwood who wore it on the ACM awards a few weeks ago (LOOK!!!). You’ll also get a Pla lip gloss ($20), and hear read me when I say: Best. Gloss. Ever.
3. THE panties. If you aren’t wearing Cosabella, you’re missing out, sister. I personally think Hanky Panky doesn’t have anything on these comfy, Italian-made, lacy numbers and we are lucky enough to have a flagship store right here in Atlanta (where they mysteriously seem to take all my money). The lingerie company is celebrating 30 years with the Trenta collection (that’s 30 in Italian) and we’re giving away THREE-packs of the incredible lowrider thong ($52)–super-fine lace designed to lay on the body for a seamless effect (read: no VPL!) and low-rise fit with wide stretch band (read: no muffin top!). So you’ll have a new pair of sexy stunners for every night of the weekend (talk about putting the fun in Sunday Funday).
So make sure you’re subscribed and look for further details in your inbox on how to win this provocative prize pack!
Sending racy pics is risky business. And I don’t just mean because they can make their way around the Internet and end up on your parents’ iPad while they surf “pop culture news” over their morning coffee. There’s the more serious risk of the photos not looking good. Here are a few things to consider to ensure you get the sexiest selfies possible and protect your privacy.
1. Clean up your effing room. Oh, you think your open drawers with clothes hanging out and overflowing trashcan is arousing? THINK AGAIN. Your room doesn’t have to be impeccable, but serious clutter and trash is a distraction from your hot self. Also, check your surroundings for other things you don’t want in the photos: Children, dog licking his crotch, your sleeping boyfriend (you’d be surprised)….
2. Set the mood. Hearing E! News blaring from the living room or sirens and street noise doesn’t exactly set the tone for an erotic photo shoot. Put on some sensual tunes (you can check out my “The Mood” playlist here) and if you have a roommate, it’s probably smart to lock the door.
3. Consider your case. If you have an embarrassing mobile covering (or one with your name on it) and it will be in the pic, take that thing off and try not to drop your phone, butterfingers. Nothing kills a libido like…
3. Start out slow. Don’t give away the whole farm when a few crops will do the trick (see what I did there?). You can even start by sending a pic of your nightie/bra and panty set/dominatrix outfit/whatever WITHOUT you in it to get his imagination going. Example:
See? Sexy AND classy. Then you can move into more racy territory (a cleavage shot, your lovely lady area in a pair of lacy panties, etc.), but really embrace the art of the tease here, gals. If you’re just starting to sext with a dude, for the love of God, don’t send him a full frontal shot. This is not the Playboy mansion and you are not the May centerfold (no offense).
And I always like to mix in some some good, old-fashioned punny business.
If you have a cat, it’s easy. Text: “Want to see a picture of my pus*y?” (SPOILER ALERT: He’s probably going to say yes.)
Wait, what’s that? Guys don’t find this amusing? Oh.
4. Don’t underestimate the power of a tan line. Now that sunning season is here, you’re bound to have them sooner than later, and every guy loves a glimpse of your “white bikini.” The hip/ butt area usually works best (like this, but um, sexier). These are especially effective if you’re on vacation without your dude; he won’t be able to wait for you to return and view the full suit.
5. Unless you’re really trusting of the guy, don’t show your face. He can get a good look at that when you hook up IRL. However, if you’re okay with your identity and bare bod ending up in other people’s hands (or on their computer screens), by all means, mug it up. Just don’t do duck face. I mean, have some self-respect.
6. Use a filter, for Christ’s sake. Seriously, what did girls do before photo editing apps? I can’t even think about it. You can use something like Camera+ or Photoshop Express OR you can put it through Instagram and once you get the image to your liking, screen shot, then crop it. Just be very careful to not accidentally hit “Share.” You won’t be able to delete fast enough. If you’re especially partial to Facebook’s new filters (I kinda’ am), you can post a photo and make it visible only to you. On iPhone, when you’re about to post, go to the lock icon and click “Only me.”
7. Protect yourself. Get an app like Photo Vault or Photo Locker so you can save your steamy pics in a password protected folder. God forbid a friend (or family member!) scrolls through your camera roll and gets a glimpse of your lace-pantied lady bits. But you don’t want to delete the good ones; you put a lot of work into the posing/cropping/filtering process! And you never know, you may need to use them again.
Just in case Hugh Heff does come a’callin.