j lo booty video

Jennifer Lopez’s “Booty” video is out, and I didn’t think this was possible, but it has MORE ASS THAN THE “ANACONDA” VIDEO. There are no pineapples spinning on record players, pink hand weights, or Drake’s boner; just J. Lo and I.G.G.Y’s ass cheeks, a lot of lube (plus EOS lip balm because product placement?), and a […]

anaconda parody 2

Y’all know how I feel about Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video (and her desperate antics in general). And that horrendous song–every time it comes on the radio, I turn the station. It has become Nickelback to me. This parody by Bart Baker give zero fucks about dissing the song, video, Nicki’s talents, and that fat ass. […]

tiger cub playing with dog

Sorry for yelling. That’s the first time I’ve all-capped a title….but it probably won’t be the last. I cannot stop watching this video (you may have already seen it because it’s old and has 3 million views but whatever). For the record, if I had a tiger cub in my apartment right now jumping from […]

gisele under armour

I just watched Gisele’s Under Armour commercial and cried. Definitely never thought I would write that sentence. I’m not a celebrity by any stretch, but with this blog, I put myself, my opinions, and my actions out into the world for public scrutiny, and I have received more meant comments than I can count (“You’re […]

baby_deer

Go ahead, fawn over this one. AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR PET WAS SPOILED. Oh, deer.

manservants 1

What do women want? The age-old question men ask themselves…and women probably ask themselves even more. Also, a Mel Gibson movie (that was FOURTEEN YEARS AGO by the way, FML). But this revolutionary new service out of San Fran (obvi), is attempting to give women EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT. And it’s not a stripper’s oversized penis […]

tribble reese lip sync selfie

My good friend and genetically #blessed male specimen Tribble Reese (you may recognize him from Bravo’s The New Atlanta) is the king of what we like to call……the #LipSyncSelfie. Every time he posts a snippet on Instagram, W+P blogger Trey is jealous, females everywhere get lady boners, and his 98293729847897349 Instagram followers go bananas. Well ol’ Tribbs […]

nicky minaj bet awards pic

Watch this hot mess. (Sorry it starts playing automatically. Just hit the play arrow and wait out the commercial.) Ok. So. 1. SHE HAS HER DAMN CELL PHONE ON STAGE WITH HER. Picture having your cell phone on the table at a really fancy restaurant and then multiply that trashy factor by 65. But then […]

ashley hesseltine standup

This week, I did standup at one of my favorite comedy clubs in the city, The Atlanta Improv, for open mic night, and it was a packed house as Ron White was stopping by to shut it down after amateur hour. There were 250+ people in attendance, which is the largest crowd I’ve ever performed for, plus I […]

gun violence vibrator dildo ad

OK FINE. I’m just going to go ahead and deem this week “Hilarious Commercial Week” because another one is buzzing around the Internet (literally), and it really hits close to home as this would 100% happen to me if I had children… Better than a TSA agent finding it, though… Safety first, Ashley

american standard toilet commercial

Ok I swear this isn’t turning into a “Look at these funny commercials!” blog, but this week has just been on point. (Who says on point?) This gem actually debuted on the Interweb five years ago and I have no idea how it wasn’t more popular. Supposedly based on a true story, this is truly […]

l condoms commercial

In the world of commercials, there is nothing worse than stupid ones whilst watching your favorite TV show, but there is nothing better than awesome ones on the Internet. Like these doozies: 1. Grey Poupon’s banned commercial that’s punny as shit (literally). Burgers, grannies, and a Cleveland Steamer reference. NAILED IT. 2. More amazingness from […]

one piece swimsuit

In April, Nair flew me to NYC to shoot a series of “summer style and beauty video vignettes” and I wasn’t exactly sure what it entailed, but a few days before the shoot I received this in an email: “Are you comfortable in a swimsuit on camera?” I’m sorry, what? Did you say swimsuit? On […]

guys dancing to beyonce

Well. These fellas might do Beyonce better than Beyonce. GET IT BOYS. But was anyone else wondering why one important song was missing…? Let’s dance, y’all. LYLAS, Ashley

beth stern cuddle cats

Is it just me or this Instagram video by Beth Stern one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen?! The very end made me feel all warm fuzzy and I had to go pin my dog down on the couch to cuddle with him (against his will). Ok, maybe it’s just me. But like, who wants […]

world cup commercial beats by dre

Best commercial ever? Probably. Starts out like a movie trailer, cameos by Lil Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Serena Williams, LeBron, etc., and that BADASS SONG. It’s five minutes long, but I guarantee you’ll watch the whole thing then want to go out and do something awesome (like buy Beats by Dre headphones if you don’t have […]

walmart beauty selfie

Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Walmart via Mode Media.  The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Walmart. I made a trip to Walmart with the challenge of stocking up on summer beauty essentials for $30. We all know $30 will get you approximately […]

drunk in love wedding dance

If you can watch this without cringing and/or nervously laughing, I will give you $8,000 and a six-pack of cigars on ice. Don’t get it twisted; I think the ladies certainly have the moves, but I have so many questions. Such as… 1. Which bridesmaid, after a couple glasses of moscato, was like, “You know what […]

high school talent contest billie jean

I never thought I’d say this, but….I’m strangely attracted to a skinny, ginger-ish teenager. What? Fast-forward to 1:10 (and I recommend going full screen). Yes, he did win the talent contest (duh), but I’m annoyed the whole damn gymnasium wasn’t ON THEIR MOTHER F*CKING FEET. He definitely did MJ (and Usher) proud. And seriously…is he 18 yet?

mom son dance

With so many EPIC wedding videos out there nowadays, it’s harder and harder to impress us YouTube generationers. But this one got me… That. Mom. Is. A. Fucking. BOSS. When she starts dancing, you’re like, Wow, not awkward at all; she can actually move. Then you realize just how much swag she has…AND she’s doing […]

ew jimmy fallon

If you know me at all, you know that Jimmy Fallon’s EW! sketch is my favorite thing in life. No seriously. I watch an episode at least twice a day week, and quote it constantly with my fellow EW! lovers. It’s just…so…perfect. This latest one with Seth Rogen and Zac Efron finally addresses selfies and […]

cassandra bella bag

One day at the Bella Bag showroom, owner Cassandra Connors and I got to chatting about her freakish knowledge of handbags and I put her to the test of naming a bunch on the spot. She got every…last…one. So I decided to take it up a notch and blindfold her. See if she can recognize a […]

fox news gretchen carlson

Thanks to a fab producer pal and perfect timing of being in NYC, I got the opportunity to be on the “female power panel” on FOX New’s The Real Story with Gretchen Carlson. From the baller black car they sent to my hotel to scoop me up to the most incredible hair and makeup team of […]

let me take a dic pic

You guys, how much money do you think The Chainsmokers have made from that chick’s annoying voice over a beat that a 5th grader with a keyboard could have made? I can’t even think about it. But good for them; they are hashtagging all the way to the damn bank. Thankfully, someone made a solid […]