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You know the feeling: You wake up and want to simultaneously do cartwheels, call your BFFs, and Gorilla Glue yourself to the warm body next to you so you’ll never EVER have be apart. But chances are you’ll nix the acrobatics, settle for a quick Emoji update on the group text (eggplant + heart + smiling […]

pinterest nails

I treat my nails like my wine preference: Dark in the winter, light in the summer. Sure, you can rock any nail color any time of year if you do it with confidence, but once chilly weather hits, I reach for those charcoals, hunter greens, blacks, and burgundies. Cajun Shrimp, you can hibernate until (at […]

anaconda video

I watched Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video (after 50 million people had already viewed it, and 30 of those 50 million probably climaxed) and I was, in a word, repulsed. Asses clapping, asses twerking, asses in the air doggystyle position, asses shaking in slow-mo, girls touching each other’s asses, girls grinding on each other’s asses, girls […]

jimmy fallon ice bucket challenge 2

Oh, the #IceBucketChallenge. Unless you live on an island with no technology or communication with the outside world, you are very familiar with this recent phenomenon taking over the Internet. (Also, can I come stay with you?) I just had to say my piece on this whole thing. And one last thing–there’s a lot of metal […]

how-taylor-swift-conquered-the-music-world-by-age-22

Taylor Swift and her try-hard demeanor, ridiculous humblebragging, and painfully awkward dance moves in the front row of awards shows make me feel crazy. Between her, Anne Hathaway and Kanye, I don’t know who makes my skin crawl more. But then….this happened. My favorite sketch of all time and she was funny (who knew!?), endearing […]

road trip 2

I’m currently writing this from a 2013 Porsche Cayenne fully equipped with air-conditioned 14-way adjustable seats, 4 phones, an iPad, 2 laptops (with working charger), 2 Internet connections (just in case one isn’t fast enough), refrigerator, espresso maker (WHAT?), and 2 bikes on the back. Welcome to #RoadTrippingWithRob. (If we were in my 2003 Xterra, […]

tuna melts my heart

If there’s one thing we can agree on when it comes to Instagram, it’s this: And if there’s another thing we can agree on, it’s that animals are the best. Animals don’t wake up in the morning, put on a full face of makeup, then take a selfie and hashtag #IWokeUpLikeThis. Animals don’t pretend to […]

vintage-painted-nails

Here’s the deal with mani/pedis and me: I’ll go the salon with a friend so we can catch up, talk about boys, and drink wine (complimentary at Passion) then go drink more wine (across the street at Barcelona). Have I been boozing at the Barcelona bar for hours whilst wearing those disposable flip-flops? Maybe. Numerous times. […]

hungover-working cameron diaz

Every summer, I go to Dewey Beach (the happiest place on Earth) for a week, and by Day 5, I am a zombie version of myself from all the partying. I somehow make it through the week, but then I need another full week to recover and a full month to get my body back […]

rihanna cfda awards dress

Oh, nipples. Babies want to suck them, men want to touch them, (some) women want to free them, and Rihanna just wants to show hers and break the Internet on the reg. I have no desire to go topless in public, but I do want this bikini for the beach, pool, or Tuesday mornings over […]

gwyneth paltrow woke up like this

Phew. Thanks to Racked (and my former DailyCandy editor Lauren), I just read this article by Gala Darling inspired by a piece on The Cut titled, “Why Not Admit We Didn’t Wake Up Like This?” Nevermind that chain reaction (I just wanted to credit everyone), but take a look at THIS doozy of an observation from […]

facebook like

My friend and favorite bartender (besides my brother) at the best bar/restaurant in the Universe (The Starboard in Dewey Beach) came out earlier this year and wrote a simple, heartfelt, humorous, perfect post on Facebook about it, which got nearly 1,000 likes (bet that’s more than any engagement/baby/new job/#blessed post you’ve seen in your newsfeed […]

disease detective

A friend posted this on Facebook last night and I followed his instructions immediately: 1) Go to the CDC’s FB page 2) Read their post about Ebola3) Read the comments 4) Laugh hysterically at people freaking out 5) ….pause for a moment6) Cry yourself to sleep when you realize how many morons there are in the world. He […]

bachelor-in-paradise-12

OF COURSE I WATCHED THIS TRAINWRECK, HAVE WE MET? A bunch of hot, desperate singles who I kinda’ feel like I already know because I’ve been watching this damn show for a decade (FML) and they’re in my homeland(ish) of Mexico!? Set the DVR and pass me the guac. There was one really strong moment […]

baby_deer

Go ahead, fawn over this one. AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR PET WAS SPOILED. Oh, deer.

bachelorette-after-the-final-rose-nick-claims-andi-misled-him-with-sex

If you are a normal person, then you have no idea what happened on The Bachelorette this season because you have much better things to do with your life like succeed.  Therefore, let me recap for you because I have no life and believe in love. A bunch of dudes went on a terrible show […]

IMG_1315

Look I get it; inspirational quotes are meant to inspire. For example: You are having the worst day ever. You just got dumped/divorced, lost your job, your dog died, and you found out you have herpes. Then you get on Facebook, see a quote about keeping your head up through the rain while you work […]

hot crazy matrix

“All women are crazy.” A statement we’ve heard too many times before. Well guess what, guys are fucking crazy, too, so let’s put the whole backlash of that statement behind us and focus on this educational video for a second. (For the record; crazy to a female is equivalent to creepy as a male, so if you […]

manservants 1

What do women want? The age-old question men ask themselves…and women probably ask themselves even more. Also, a Mel Gibson movie (that was FOURTEEN YEARS AGO by the way, FML). But this revolutionary new service out of San Fran (obvi), is attempting to give women EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT. And it’s not a stripper’s oversized penis […]

sam smith in the lonely hour

Dear Sam, I hope this letter finds you well. I have come to the conclusion that…well…I have a male-to-male appreciation for you. Fuck it, a Man Crush. You see Sam, it appears that every female on Planet Earth (and possibly Venus) is in love with you and your songs instead of me. You have stolen […]

lime coconut crop

There are few things in life I love more than vodka, coconut, and the beach. Actually, maybe zero things. So when I discovered Pinnacle’s coconut vodka on my way TO THE BEACH, I flipped the F*CK out. After the liquor store employees tranquilized me and I recovered, I got my alcoholic creative juices flowing and […]

BONDI BEACH_310110 - 3

When I was a kid, I was never without a book on my person (#NerdAlert: I would ask how long a car ride was just in case I might finish one book and need another). These days, I don’t get to read (for pleasure) as much as I’d like, but lately, I’ve been making more […]

fifty shades grey trailer

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has been so highly anticipated, mainly because everyone is wondering how they’re going to put two hours of kinky sex on the big screen and not rate it XXXXX. Well, it’s here. 1. I got zero lady boner from the actor playing Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Bummer. 2. For […]

conan tinder 2

Mystery, humor, intrigue, suspense, and love. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE MOVIE. Keep swipin’, y’all, Ashley For more on what NOT to do on Tinder, click here.