Remember when this was an acceptable pool float? LOL Showing up to a pool party with one of those busted yoga mats these days is like a dude breaking out a Samsung flip phone to get a girl’s number. Sure it can be endearing (ish?), but bottom line: NOPE. Just like mobile phones, workout classes, […]

After one of my best friends did a SEXY AF boudoir photo shoot before her wedding, a few of us got to chatting about this rite of passage (would I do one? UM, DUH). And after a few gallons glasses of wine, we had a thought: What if men did these? Cue the uncontrollable laughter […]

The basic bitch is so 2014 (seriously Internet, stop with the listicles) but the basic bro lives on! He is confident, he is #blessed, he is fit (or at least embraces his #DadBod), he is handsome (enough), and most of all, he is social media savvy! The basic bro knows Valencia isn’t just a city […]

Translation: Hey, what’s up. It’s me, Adele. I know it’s been like, forever and you’ve probably moved on but I wanted to see if you’d be down to meet so we can rehash our awful breakup. I’m sure you already know this but I’m super famous (like, 10 Grammys famous) and I’m actually in LA […]

Showering is overrated, AMIRITE? Oh, you think I’m gross now? Well your mom’s gross. Sorry I didn’t mean that. Your mom is an angel. But seriously, here are six reasons you can skip the sprinkle. 1. You don’t have time. Well you DID have time but then you settled into a Sex and the City […]

Girls are notorious for being late. And no I don’t mean ALL girls so you punctual bitches can refrain from being offended and/or typing out a comment detailing your punctuality and how it’s equated to your superior success so all of us late assholes can feel like loser pieces of shit. Because we already feel […]

You may still be recovering from the news bomb last week about TARGET SERVING ALCOHOL. For those of you I’m breaking this information to, stop hyperventilating and put down your car keys because you can’t just head to your local Target and get wine drunk right now, ok? It’s only in the very beginning stages […]

Call me crazy, but I have never been personally offended by the site of an animal’s asshole. However, in 2015 in a world filled with bare human asses breaking the Internet, apparently this is an issue for some people. So praise Jesus for the TWINKLE TUSH, a feline ass-cessory that turns a kitty’s butthole into bling. Now […]

I watch The Bachelorette on ABC. Am I proud of it? I am. It’s wonderful. Like Justin Bieber in a bathtub wonderful. If you have no life like me and TV is your soulmate, you know we are in the middle of The Bachelorette Season 127. If you do better things with your life than […]

Well Anastasia Steele hosted SNL on Saturday night (sans being whipped and handcuffed…I think?) and while I haven’t watched the whole thing yet (GET IT TOGETHER, ON DEMAND), I saw this one sketch and wanted to yell “YAAAASSSSS” from my balcony. But I settled for giggling on my couch. Too many times women hold back […]

****Guest post from Allison of AA**** You guys. I have to tell you about my night.  It is currently 10:42 p.m. and I am sitting at my kitchen table; the exact spot I was sitting in at approximately 9:30 p.m. when I first saw it.   I’LL START FROM THE BEGINNING. I took a later […]

Have you ever watched a trailer for an R-rated comedy and gotten teary-eyed because it just spoke to you so much? No? Just me? Ok moving on. I saw the trailer for Trainwreck and already know this is LITERALLY my favorite movie of all time. Why? 1. Amy Schumer (duh). Everything about her is comedic perfection–her […]

Maybe it’s because it’s on a Saturday, maybe it’s because social media gets more out of control every year minute, or maybe it’s because I did an 8-minute TV segment on it (in which I got called out for my Tindering), but Valentine’s Day is on steroids AF this year. Not to mention I just […]

Last night after the football match/Missy Elliot concert, The Tonight Show did a special live taping where Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell joined Jimmy for an epic lip sync battle. BE STILL MY HEART.  There were a lot of special moments in this 13 minutes of musical magic, but Will Ferrell tackling Beyonce’s famed sex […]

In the Walking Dead meets Pet Semetary twist of the century, a cat named Bart was hit by a car and pronounced dead (you know, because he was lying lifeless in a pool of blood), so the owner buried him, then five days later, he clawed himself out of the grave and showed up on the […]

Confession: I have been watching The Bachelor for most my adult life and I’m not ashamed. There is literally no better show to view with friends, critique, and live tweet. Sure, seasons have had their fair share of snoozy moments, but they still never disappoint with the handpicked crop of insecure/narcissistic/batshit/desperate females, Chris Harrison’s billionaire […]

#NewYear……#NewYou. How about we put aside your unrealistic resolutions of quadrupling your income, getting Gisele’s body or Ryan Gosling’s face, and finding love on FarmersOnly.com and talk about what really matters: Your social media accounts. Our old pal Trey and I have long discussed how social media is completely out of control (yet we spend […]

I remember the moment I saw an enlarged Emoji on Snapchat. It was last Tuesday night; I sat up straight in bed and knew my life was changed forever. This are few things I love more in this world than Emojis and when they’re larger than life, I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN. The number one reason […]

Guaranteed you’ve been that girl or been in a conversation with that girl who’s like, “Ugh, I just wish there was a penis Emoji!” Like hell you do. Most girls don’t even like getting real dick pics. Why would we want tiny, cartoon dick pics splashed across our iPhone screens? No thanks. But we ladies do […]

Welp. The collection dropped this morning and H&M’s site is already down. Wang down! I repeat, Wang down. What? Anyway, this “sporty couture” collection is badass (in theory) and no doubt I would love to see a runway show of these fashions with some hard-hitting EDM or hip-hop as the soundtrack (this tune, for example), but […]

Everywhere you look (Facebook, MySpace, you mom’s Tinder profile), you see someone turning up with their bae and other people saying they LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN if they hear the word bae one more time, and the rest of the universe is either sitting around taking basic Buzzfeed quizzes and drinking #PSLs or looking at “fitness […]

Praise the Lawd, I finally stopped laughing long enough to write this damn article. So here’s the situation. I’ve seen lists of “turn-offs” on the Internets before but I think they’ve all been mediocre, so I realized it was HIGH TIME to ask the females I know to share the things that kill their lady boners. I […]

Even though I knew this was coming the second I heard the question, it still made my jaw drop then start laughing hysterically. Poor Peter (and of course that’s his name). But props to him for taking it in stride. But still. I just don’t know how you come back from this.

My brother texted me with a “hilarious” YouTube link and said “I cannot deal with it” and I was like, “Wait, he literally can’t even right now?” I had to watch. Behold Chris D’elia (my #1 comic crush as of late) impersonate drunk girls with incredible accuracy. I mean, HOW CAN HE BE THAT GOOD? […]