I happen to have an arsenal of sex toys, namely vibrators. Attribute it to the fact that I co-hosted a Pure Romance party for four years in a row where I not only got free gifts but also got wasted. “Limited edition” neon yellow dildo butterfly vibrator for $80? Sure why not! My power bill […]

***Guest post by Lynsey of Sugar Free Ear Candy*** My most innocent girlfriend called me the other day and asked if she should get a Brazilian wax. Before I could begin laughing at the mere thought of her taking her monogrammed panties off in front of a stranger to get her virginal crotch ripped to […]

Y’all know how I feel about Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video (and her desperate antics in general). And that horrendous song–every time it comes on the radio, I turn the station. It has become Nickelback to me. This parody by Bart Baker give zero fucks about dissing the song, video, Nicki’s talents, and that fat ass. […]

There’s been a lot of talk about being “basic” lately, specifically being a “basic bitch.” I read the Buzzfeed article “25 Things All Basic White Girls Do in the Fall” and well, I thought it was dumb as f*ck. I mean, did you just copy this from some “shit girls like” list and put “basic and […]

(In case you missed Part 1) I begrudgingly left the Best Place on Earth and Rob put me in charge of finding food in Asheville (THE PRESSURE). After pretending to look up restaurants on my phone for 10 minutes but really just scrolling Instagram, I quickly crowd-sourced my Facebook friends and received a few glowing recommendations […]

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Oh, nipples. Babies want to suck them, men want to touch them, (some) women want to free them, and Rihanna just wants to show hers and break the Internet on the reg. I have no desire to go topless in public, but I do want this bikini for the beach, pool, or Tuesday mornings over […]

A friend posted this on Facebook last night and I followed his instructions immediately: 1) Go to the CDC’s FB page 2) Read their post about Ebola3) Read the comments 4) Laugh hysterically at people freaking out 5) ….pause for a moment6) Cry yourself to sleep when you realize how many morons there are in the world. He […]

Dear Sam, I hope this letter finds you well. I have come to the conclusion that…well…I have a male-to-male appreciation for you. Fuck it, a Man Crush. You see Sam, it appears that every female on Planet Earth (and possibly Venus) is in love with you and your songs instead of me. You have stolen […]

Sometimes you can’t help but judge. Like if you met someone and they (seriously) said, “Look me up on MySpace,” I hope you’d back away as quickly as possible. Luckily, no legitimate human being still uses MySpace so that would never actually happen, but there are PLENTY of other things people still do that blow my […]

OK FINE. I’m just going to go ahead and deem this week “Hilarious Commercial Week” because another one is buzzing around the Internet (literally), and it really hits close to home as this would 100% happen to me if I had children… Better than a TSA agent finding it, though… Safety first, Ashley

Ok I swear this isn’t turning into a “Look at these funny commercials!” blog, but this week has just been on point. (Who says on point?) This gem actually debuted on the Interweb five years ago and I have no idea how it wasn’t more popular. Supposedly based on a true story, this is truly […]

Let’s be honest. Guys are gross. But girls are might be grosser. The shit girls say when they’re in the unconditional loving comfort of their best friends is facking insane, and if dudes knew the half of it, they would probably never get a boner again. In other words, if you’re a dude and you’re reading […]

If you can watch this without cringing and/or nervously laughing, I will give you $8,000 and a six-pack of cigars on ice. Don’t get it twisted; I think the ladies certainly have the moves, but I have so many questions. Such as… 1. Which bridesmaid, after a couple glasses of moscato, was like, “You know what […]

Oh, Tinder. The most genius, addicting, shallow app ever created. Swipe right if you think someone is attractive; swipe left if you don’t. Swipe all over your screen if you’re drunk and starting to lose control over your fingers….then wake up with a bunch of fours in your match queue who you thought were tens […]

It’s not even the weekend yet and I’m hungover. (Obviously I had a date last night.) Anyway, lots of fun stuff happening in the ol’ ATL, starting tonight with a comedy show, which is good if you like to laugh. Here’s the dealio (who says dealio?): TJ MILLER You may know this comedian from Chelsea […]

I was on a bachelorette party this weekend in Charleston, and while I had an absolute blast, I couldn’t help but think how things had changed from the bachelorette parties I attended before I hit the big 3-0. For one, I still remembered my name on Sunday. And I didn’t have to take a Plan […]

I had a crazy-busy last week, so I took some Sunday (slightly hungover) downtime to catch up on my Internets and realized the past few days really crushed it. Some of these gems have already gone viral, but I had to make sure all my Witty + Pretty people were up to date on this […]

Recently, I did a post about the five fattest foods girls love to eat, and I think it got a pageview or two (million). Turns out, we ladies love feeding our inner fat girl and talking about it. But we all have an inner Gisele, too, and she likes to eat different stuff. Like this… […]

This GENIUS Vine video has been making the Internet rounds with good reason. Has there ever been a more incredible combo than DMX and a llama? NOPE. Also, they’re my favorite animal. Party up, y’all. LYLAS, Ashley 

Girls these days JUST CAN’T. Sometimes we can’t even, sometimes we CAN NOT and other times, we are literally dying. We often ask “Is this real life?”, realize our lives are totally F’d (#FML), or simply have to say “stop” (or use this Emoji). But lots of people (namely males) don’t understand why girls can’t […]

You guys, how much money do you think The Chainsmokers have made from that chick’s annoying voice over a beat that a 5th grader with a keyboard could have made? I can’t even think about it. But good for them; they are hashtagging all the way to the damn bank. Thankfully, someone made a solid […]

Oh, April Fool’s. We have a love-hate relationship because my mom used to get me EVERY YEAR when I was a kid. I remember her waking me up at the tender age of oh, 7, and convincing me my hair had turned green overnight. Full blown tears before I could get to a mirror. But […]

When I read this article titled “Half-Marathon Runner Passes Time On Her Run by Taking Selfies With Hot Guys“, I was like, WAIT A MINUTE. Half-marathon? I do those! Selfies? I do those, too! Hot guys? Of course I do those! And with the Georgia Marathon/Half-Marathon just a few days away, I knew it was fate […]

Welp. Q100’s The Bert Show asked us back on their women’s panel to answers men’s burning questions about the female race. This time around, we covered “Can a guy get out of the friend zone and how?” (our answers may surprise you), how does a guy tell his lady he hates one of her besties, and […]