Last night after the football match/Missy Elliot concert, The Tonight Show did a special live taping where Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell joined Jimmy for an epic lip sync battle. BE STILL MY HEART.  There were a lot of special moments in this 13 minutes of musical magic, but Will Ferrell tackling Beyonce’s famed sex […]

In the Walking Dead meets Pet Semetary twist of the century, a cat named Bart was hit by a car and pronounced dead (you know, because he was lying lifeless in a pool of blood), so the owner buried him, then five days later, he clawed himself out of the grave and showed up on the […]

Confession: I have been watching The Bachelor for most my adult life and I’m not ashamed. There is literally no better show to view with friends, critique, and live tweet. Sure, seasons have had their fair share of snoozy moments, but they still never disappoint with the handpicked crop of insecure/narcissistic/batshit/desperate females, Chris Harrison’s billionaire […]

#NewYear……#NewYou. How about we put aside your unrealistic resolutions of quadrupling your income, getting Gisele’s body or Ryan Gosling’s face, and finding love on FarmersOnly.com and talk about what really matters: Your social media accounts. Our old pal Trey and I have long discussed how social media is completely out of control (yet we spend […]

There is nothing quite like dad fashion–Wranglers and New Balances, Crocs and socks, khakis and windbreakers, Canadian tuxedos, Hawaiian shirts (in the middle of winter)–there are no limits when it comes to their personal style and comfort. When I’m home from the holidays, I alway eagerly anticipate what kind of ensemble my dad is going […]

I remember the moment I saw an enlarged Emoji on Snapchat. It was last Tuesday night; I sat up straight in bed and knew my life was changed forever. This are few things I love more in this world than Emojis and when they’re larger than life, I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN. The number one reason […]

GIRLS. LOVE. INSTAGRAM. The only thing girls love more than cupcakes, coffee, Emojis, new outfits, and skinny pictures of themselves are putting cupcakes, coffee, Emojis, new outfits, and skinny pictures of themselves on Instagram, so according to my genius deductive reasoning skills, that means they literally love Instagram more than anything else in the entire universe. As for […]

Guaranteed you’ve been that girl or been in a conversation with that girl who’s like, “Ugh, I just wish there was a penis Emoji!” Like hell you do. Most girls don’t even like getting real dick pics. Why would we want tiny, cartoon dick pics splashed across our iPhone screens? No thanks. But we ladies do […]

Am I tripping on psychedelic mushrooms or is there a Snowpocalypse in Saudi Arabia right now because this blog entry is about Taylor Swift…and it’s positive. FML. I’m not one to excessively celebrity gossip (that’s for bores and basics), but you may know I used to majorly hate on Taylor Swift. I could not stand her […]

Welp. The collection dropped this morning and H&M’s site is already down. Wang down! I repeat, Wang down. What? Anyway, this “sporty couture” collection is badass (in theory) and no doubt I would love to see a runway show of these fashions with some hard-hitting EDM or hip-hop as the soundtrack (this tune, for example), but […]

Well maybe not EVERYTHING, but these 10 random questions come pretty close to uncovering all of Iliza Shlesinger’s deepest secrets, regrets, and freaky fetishes (hint: bacon). You may know the on-the-rise comedian from her widespread bit about girls night/girls hating each other, which I couldn’t relate to because I love my girlfriends more than nachos […]

I love Halloween. Like, really really (add 12 more reallys) love it. When you were little, it was an excuse to get dressed up, get attention, act silly with your friends, and eat candy until you passed out. Now it’s an excuse to get dressed up, get attention, act silly with your friends, and drink […]

Fireball was that perfect guy who always lived in your city but you never knew existed. He was around, but you were too busy making out with Jose, Jim, Jack, or Goose, or partying with your red-headed slut friends to notice. But then finally in 2013 (or maybe it was 2012, you can’t really remember), […]

Everywhere you look (Facebook, MySpace, you mom’s Tinder profile), you see someone turning up with their bae and other people saying they LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN if they hear the word bae one more time, and the rest of the universe is either sitting around taking basic Buzzfeed quizzes and drinking #PSLs or looking at “fitness […]

Praise the Lawd, I finally stopped laughing long enough to write this damn article. So here’s the situation. I’ve seen lists of “turn-offs” on the Internets before but I think they’ve all been mediocre, so I realized it was HIGH TIME to ask the females I know to share the things that kill their lady boners. I […]

Even though I knew this was coming the second I heard the question, it still made my jaw drop then start laughing hysterically. Poor Peter (and of course that’s his name). But props to him for taking it in stride. But still. I just don’t know how you come back from this.

My brother texted me with a “hilarious” YouTube link and said “I cannot deal with it” and I was like, “Wait, he literally can’t even right now?” I had to watch. Behold Chris D’elia (my #1 comic crush as of late) impersonate drunk girls with incredible accuracy. I mean, HOW CAN HE BE THAT GOOD? […]

I happen to have an arsenal of sex toys, namely vibrators. Attribute it to the fact that I co-hosted a Pure Romance party for four years in a row where I not only got free gifts but also got wasted. “Limited edition” neon yellow dildo butterfly vibrator for $80? Sure why not! My power bill […]

I never even DREAMED this day would come, but my favorite comedic sketch of all time (along with every other white girl I know) has not only turned into a song we can #TurnUp whilst drinking white zin and taking mirror selfies before going out on Saturday night, but also…A MUSIC VIDEO. Starring Sara (with no H) […]

***Guest post by Lynsey of Sugar Free Ear Candy*** My most innocent girlfriend called me the other day and asked if she should get a Brazilian wax. Before I could begin laughing at the mere thought of her taking her monogrammed panties off in front of a stranger to get her virginal crotch ripped to […]

Y’all know how I feel about Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video (and her desperate antics in general). And that horrendous song–every time it comes on the radio, I turn the station. It has become Nickelback to me. This parody by Bart Baker give zero fucks about dissing the song, video, Nicki’s talents, and that fat ass. […]

I’m just going to say it. It kinda’ blows my mind that beauty pageants still exist in 2014. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that females choose to dedicate their formative years to participating in contests where they are judged on how they look in bikinis and prom dresses, average […]

After years of waiting, I’ve finally found THE ONE. Obviously I’m talking about a blender. The Blendtec Designer 725 (AKA WildSide) is literally the smartest and most advanced home blender in the world (not mention attractive), so falling in love was easy. It has a 1725 watt motor–the most powerful in residential blending, so it reduces […]

There’s been a lot of talk about being “basic” lately, specifically being a “basic bitch.” I read the Buzzfeed article “25 Things All Basic White Girls Do in the Fall” and well, I thought it was dumb as f*ck. I mean, did you just copy this from some “shit girls like” list and put “basic and […]