Guaranteed you’ve been that girl or been in a conversation with that girl who’s like, “Ugh, I just wish there was a penis Emoji!” Like hell you do. Most girls don’t even like getting real dick pics. Why would we want tiny, cartoon dick pics splashed across our iPhone screens? No thanks. But we ladies do […]

Praise the Lawd, I finally stopped laughing long enough to write this damn article. So here’s the situation. I’ve seen lists of “turn-offs” on the Internets before but I think they’ve all been mediocre, so I realized it was HIGH TIME to ask the females I know to share the things that kill their lady boners. I […]

I happen to have an arsenal of sex toys, namely vibrators. Attribute it to the fact that I co-hosted a Pure Romance party for four years in a row where I not only got free gifts but also got wasted. “Limited edition” neon yellow dildo butterfly vibrator for $80? Sure why not! My power bill […]

You know the feeling: You wake up and want to simultaneously do cartwheels, call your BFFs, and Gorilla Glue yourself to the warm body next to you so you’ll never EVER have be apart. But chances are you’ll nix the acrobatics, settle for a quick Emoji update on the group text (eggplant + heart + smiling […]

OF COURSE I WATCHED THIS TRAINWRECK, HAVE WE MET? A bunch of hot, desperate singles who I kinda’ feel like I already know because I’ve been watching this damn show for a decade (FML) and they’re in my homeland(ish) of Mexico!? Set the DVR and pass me the guac. There was one really strong moment […]

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has been so highly anticipated, mainly because everyone is wondering how they’re going to put two hours of kinky sex on the big screen and not rate it XXXXX. Well, it’s here. 1. I got zero lady boner from the actor playing Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Bummer. 2. For […]

This week, I did standup at one of my favorite comedy clubs in the city, The Atlanta Improv, for open mic night, and it was a packed house as Ron White was stopping by to shut it down after amateur hour. There were 250+ people in attendance, which is the largest crowd I’ve ever performed for, plus I […]

Let’s be honest. Guys are gross. But girls are might be grosser. The shit girls say when they’re in the unconditional loving comfort of their best friends is facking insane, and if dudes knew the half of it, they would probably never get a boner again. In other words, if you’re a dude and you’re reading […]

I wonder if I asked a bunch of dudes to name a sexy movie scene, they’d say, “Uh, this girl-on-girl scene I watched on YouPorn this morning.” Probably. But us ladies…we like a little more cinematic value for our stimulation. Last week, Witty + Pretty email subscribers weighed in on the steamiest movie scenes of all […]

Since the beginning of time Beyonce, ladies want to be sexy for their men. But what if they don’t know how? Sure, you could read articles in Cosmo titled “What Guys Really Think Is Sexy” but Cosmo is written for 14-year-olds, and instead of asking real, dateable guys, they probably just asked a few nerd interns […]

Now, I don’t mean the best way to wake up as in a California king on a private island spooning with a hot dude and you remembered to take your makeup off the night before and you don’t even have morning breath and your hair is perfectly tousled from the silk pillowcases. Because, duh. I […]

Is it just me, or does it seem like gay men have pretty fulfilling and exciting sex lives? And because I know a lot of women (single and in relationships) who aren’t exactly thrilled with their current sexual situations (hence, why Fifty Shades of Grey totally crushed it), I thought, Why not see if the gay […]

While I was drinking Europe dry traveling last week, I re-posted an article I wrote a year prior about my mortifying vibrator incident in London’s Heathrow airport. Well the Internet (and self-pleasure) Gods were smiling on me because a few days later, I received this email: I mean…if you ever get an email that says […]

What do you get when you take 300 of the world’s most famous DJs/electronic performers (David Guetta, Calvin Harris, Afrojack, Tiesto, Steve Aoki, etc.), 150,000 party people from all over the globe, 24 million glow sticks, 870 different kinds of neon accessories, 234820938439234 acres of farmland, and a couple gals named Molly? The answer: A […]

Hey gang. It’s your old friend “Tough Love Tom” here bringing you more critical relationship advice and information. In this gluttony of piss-warm info, I will be perplexing you with some advice about online dating. OH NO, HE SAID ONLINE DATING!!! Listen, you know you do it and if not, you want to do it, […]

Ladies and gents, it is a very special day over here at Witty + Pretty. Our very first MALE contributor (and hopefully, the first of many) is on deck! Legendary Atlanta playboy, successful entrepreneur, and JC Penney catalog model Trey “Tom” Humphreys is offering up his (extreme) expertise on what turns men off about women […]

When I saw this Amy Schumer clip titled “Sluttiest Friend” (probably NSFW), I couldn’t not check it out. Oh, you think that’s me admitting I’m the slutty friend? Come on, you guys. I’m 30 now. And my family reads this. (Just don’t ask my college roommates.) Every group of 20-something women has the slutty friend […]

I don’t know about you guys, but every time I have a sexual encounter, I think, “Ohmygod, someone should be taping this right now because it’s seriously as good as a porn.” I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. I’m not a big porn watcher; I’m more into sexting (with a partner I […]

Q100’s The Bert Show invited Nikky, Cara, and I back on the women’s panel to discuss all things men, dating, sex, and lady issues. This week got reeeeeal juicy with the dude-dreaded question, “Does size matter?”, a discussion about faking orgasms, male fashion (what NEVER to wear) and grooming, waiting until marriage, and much more. […]

Hold onto your boxer briefs because this one is for the fellas! Remember a few weeks ago when we were on Q100’s The Bert Show women’s panel answering all the burning questions guys wanted to know about sex, self-sex, and more sex? Well (shockingly) they asked us back. The same crew—me, Cara (W+P health/fitness expert), […]

Dad, if you’re reading this, step away from the computer. Ok, now that he’s gone. This morning, I was on the The Bert Show (Atlanta’s top morning radio show, syndicated in Nashville, D.C., and six other markets) for the Women’s Panel, a no-holds barred session of lady talk, where we answered everything from how often […]

Sending racy pics is risky business. And I don’t just mean because they can make their way around the Internet and end up on your parents’ iPad while they surf “pop culture news” over their morning coffee. There’s the more serious risk of the photos not looking good. Here are a few things to consider […]

Overheard in the bedroom: Her: “I wish your d*ck was a piece of bacon.” Him: “I wish you tasted like bacon.” Well guess what, meat lovers? Your wildest sexual fantasies have come true! (And if there was a line on this blog, we may have just crossed it.) – That’s right. Bacon freaking lube ($12) and […]

Remember that time your carry-on bag got checked at the airport and the security guy pulled out your vibrator and made you turn it on? Oh wait. That was me. But it’s precisely the reason why us gals could really use a pleasure piece that won’t get us into awkward situations. You know, something you […]