You know the drill (if not, see this post). I did all these things recently, so it’s okay if you have, too. That way, we all feel better about ourselves.

It’s totally acceptable if…

1. After getting your ass kicked (literally) at Pilates/Flybarre/Core Fusion/wherever, you walk out of class thinking you look like this: 

You don’t. That ass is airbrushed.

2. You sneak a sample of something from the Whole Foods salad bar before piling it onto your plate. Hello, what if you hate it? Just trying to be non-wasteful here! (Two samples are okay, too…just to make sure.)

3. You eat Nutella straight out of the jar. With your finger.

4. You wake up pissed at God because you had a dream about your ex that made you miss him. Like, you’re not even safe in your SLEEP anymore?

5. You have conversations like this with your best friend:

…and then are proven wrong because Jessica only delivered one child this week (no comment on that headline).

Have a great weekend, everyone! Do something(s) you can laugh about on Monday morning.


*Editor’s note: I would never make fun of fat people and I think Jessica Simpson is beautiful, but come on….she was a house. Make that two houses. Also, that Nutella picture took a lot of takes to get it just right (although that may have been self-imposed).

Facebook Comments

Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. My name isn’t Cory. WTF.

  2. […] know, every Friday, I confess five things I’ve done the previous week that some might find offensive, embarrassing, or awkward, but that I fully embrace and encourage you to do the same. This week is […]


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *