Well. That little vacation from blogging was about ten days longer than intended. Oops. I’m so sorry, faithful readers–it will never happen again and I just slapped myself on the wrist so you don’t have to. But the good news is I have SO FREAKING MUCH cool beauty stuff to share in the coming weeks (I’m talking new and improved spray tans and hair-down-there removal, dude-approved perfumes, skinny cocktails, instant face lifts sans Botox, and more) so IF I WERE YOU (hint, hint), I would make sure I was signed up to receive email updates (it’s right over there to the right) and like W+P on Facebook so you can be the first to dip into this sweet beauty sauce.

Now without further adieu, I’d like to share some highlights of the ahhh-mazing trip I just took to Prague and Berlin since you already know about the lowlight of all lowlights regarding my vibrator and a turbaned TSA agent. Don’t give a shit about my trip and/or Europe in general? Fair enough. Come back on Monday for your regularly scheduled content. But if you want to take a moment out of your day to daydream about a faraway land and see how much I ate on vacation, keep on reading on…

1. The trip got off to a good start because my seat assignment was also my bra size.

(Listen, I know I don’t look like a 34C and I’m still not quite how I am, but that’s what the boob whisperers at Intimacy fitted me for and like, I actually am. So let’s just chalk it up to one of life’s unsolved mysteries, okay?)

2. I IMMEDIATELY knew I loved Prague when I spotted this place on my first walk around town. Did I go in for a drink, you ask?

Does Honey Boo Boo pass up a Twinkie?

3. I came across the coolest thing–Beneficial Brick is a structure in the center of the city where you paint a brick for $7ish and the proceeds go to support mentally handicapped members of the community.

So naturally, I had to get in on that, show off my second-grade-level art skills, and let Witty + Pretty make an international appearance in the name of charity.

(Yes, I was wearing workout clothes on vacation in a fancy European city. I don’t want to get into it.)

4. I shot a crossbow at the Prague Castle and got a bullseye on my second try. A touristy couple behind me clapped, which made me feel a little awkward.

(Okay, that was a total lie about it being awkward. I loved every second of it.)

5. I found the best coffee shop in the world right outside the castle overlooking the city. But then I got legitimately pissed because I actually spend a decent amount of time at coffee shops in real life and we have nothing like this in Atlanta and never will. #FML #WhiteGirlProblems.

 6. We drank beer. On a train. At 9 a.m. On the way to Berlin. So that’s one of my new favorite hobbies.

 7. We stumbled across some SERIOUS ballroom dancers on the river in Berlin and could have watched them forever, analyzing and speculating on their relationships, dance moves, attire and footwear choices, etc.

The DJ was KILLIN’ it on the ones and twos.
Clearly, that’s David Guetta’s grandma.

8. We stuffed delicious, German sausages in our mouths. (I had no issue with swallowing, thankyouverymuch.)

9. I embraced my inner 5-year-old (and dork). The sweet Asian girl who take our picture wasn’t sure what was happening.

10. I found the Nivea mothership. But then I didn’t buy anything because I couldn’t read any of the labels. Awwwkward. (I also didn’t see Rihanna because they fired her for being slutty, remember?)

11. I couldn’t seem to find the Berlin Wall after a few brewskis, so I settled for the Brandenburg Gate. Close enough.

12. Back in Prague, I stumbled across these creepy, faceless babies in Kampa Park and had to restrain myself from jumping on their backs (only because I didn’t have anyone to take my picture).

13. My (drunk) eyes were bigger than my (intoxicated) stomach and I ordered a large quantity of pizza to eat at 3 a.m. and genuinely debated how I was going to eat it all.

Then I ate it all.

14. I discovered my favorite pastry OF ALL TIME: a traditional Czech trdelnik…with Nutella. A day has not gone by that I haven’t thought about it. Seriously.

15. But the best part was falling in love with the gorgeous city of Prague. I can’t wait to go back.

(Mainly for that trdelnik).

Hope you guys enjoyed the recap and aren’t drooling on your keyboard too badly. I mean…I am. I’ll be back on Monday with the beauty goods!


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