I try to keep it skinny on Witty + Pretty, but sometimes a treat descends from the dessert heavens that is so worth every calorie I have to talk it up, even if it takes our six packs to fives.

(If you have an actual six pack, I don’t want to hear about it.)

Last Friday afternoon, a 20-pound cake was delivered to my door to commemorate Ocean Prime Atlanta’s one-year anniversary. Why they delivered ME a cake on THEIR birthday, I’m not quite sure, but I didn’t complain. And when I say “delivered to my door,” I mean that it took two of us to awkwardly (and barely) get it through the doorframe. Luckily I was going to Clemson, so I had people to feed this monstrosity to, but I did work up a sweat, almost re-injured my foot, and bruised my arm getting it into my car. The cake sat shotgun (and barely fit), and every time I slammed on the brakes (which happened once or twice on the two-hour trek to Tiger Town), it slid forward and I had to grab the box like my life depended on it. At one point, I may or may not have screamed and wondered…Did they send me this cake as some kind of  cruel joke?

Can you detect the evil sarcasm in my eyes?

But once I cut into it and took the first bite, I realized it was well worth all the toil and trouble (and bruises). First of all, I couldn’t believe my hungry eyes: 10 layers (which actually translates to 20) of delicious, perfectly moist (ew) carrot cake and cream cheese icing. And it was topped with coconut and had a hint of pineapple, so you know I FREAKED OUT about that.

I stuffed my face with this Clemson-colored perfection. I shoved it in my friend’s husband’s face (just to practice for The Big Day in case I ever have one). And by the end of our tailgating, I sat my ass down on the ground with my new lover and ate it by the handful.
If the etiquette class my mom sent me to when I was 7 could see me now…

If your mouth is watering and you have an Ocean Prime in your city (Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, Denver, Detroit, Indianapolis, Orlando, Phoenix, Tampa, Philly, Columbus), go get you a massive slice for $10. But the best part is that you can order the giant cake that I received for $100 and that behemoth will feed 50 F’ing people. Wedding/baby shower coming up? Office party? Your turn to feed your entire neighborhood? Pick that thing up (with the help of a friend) and let the digging in begin.

You can even sit on the ground if you want.


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