Sorry to offend anyone, but there is nothing that irks me more on All Hallow’s Eve than sexy cop/kitten/nurse/devil/bumble bee/etc.  costumes straight out of a bag from the pop-up Halloween shop. Don’t get me wrong–I understand the desire to look sexy on the one night of the year when it’s completely acceptable to look like a total whore, but at least get creative with it! I tend to go 100% anti-sexy for the holiday, but this year, I did put together something slightly scandalous, BUT it’s (fairly) creative, not from a bag, and because I can never be that serious, I’ll probably wear a mustache or something.Will I have dudes chasing after me all night? Probably not (because they’ll be going after the slutty construction worker). But I’ll still have my dignity.

(Although I did lose a few shreds of it when I dressed up as Honey Boo Boo for my CBS Better Mornings segment this week. Click HERE to watch that disaster.)

ANYway, without further adieu, here are some ‘stume inspirations that are SEXY, too:

1. Taco Bell sauce packets. Find a hottie and ask him if he’s craving fifth meal.

2. Sexy ghosts. Hilarious and so easy to do. Plus, it’s perfect if you have a giant zit on your face/bad haircut/adult braces or are feeling fat.

3.  Beastie Boys SabotageI am REALLY upset I didn’t think of this earlier and recruit two of my friends to go in on it. You can totally sexify these ‘stumes with short shorts, plus you get to carry guns and wear old-school aviators and badass ‘staches and wigs. RIP Adam Yauch.

4. Sexy Big Bird. Thanks to ol’ Mitt, the Sesame Street celeb is quite a hot costume this year. And because there is nothing erotic about a giant, pear-shaped canary, a sexy Big Bird is pretty amazing. I’ve seen some online, but I also think you could easily whip this up with a yellow dress, yellow feathers (or feather boas), a Big Bird mask (that will be most difficult to find, but they are out there online and in costume stores), and orange and/or pink tights (if you’re crafty, you can attempt the stripes). But can we all agree that a sexy Snuffleupagus would be even better?

5. High school wrestlers. My friend Andrea and I had this idea a few years back and never went with it, but I still love it because of its total randomness. You get to rock a skintight singlet (wear a bandeau to avoid nip slips) and then you just have to pick up wrestling shoes and headgear, all of which can be found at your local sporting goods store. Get some friends to go in on it and you have a whole team! Add medals and/or trophies for extra flair! The best part: You get to ask hot dudes if they want to wrestle. DONE and DONE.

You could be doing that exact Kama Sutra position if you play your cards costume right.

*Atlantans, I hope to see you at the wildest, most fun Halloween party of all time tomorrow night at The Buckhead Theatre: BOOnanza 3. Click HERE for more info and promo code HESS gets you $3 off tickets when you buy them in advance online.*

Happy Haunting, tricks (and treats)!


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