If you’re visiting this site, that (probably) means you know how to read, and many of the people on your holiday gift list know how to read as well. So…


I’m not a genius, you guys. Just a simple gal who likes a nice, hilarious, offensive coffee table book as most (normal) people do. Here are 15 literary gems for everyone on your list from your BF to your GF to your BFF to your D.A.D. with links so you can easily purchase on Amazon. Also, many of these can be found at Urban Outfitters. Oh, and in book stores, too (are those still around)? Let’s start this chapter…

1. For your friend who’s always asking, “So like, how do you do that?” (Couldn’t hurt to pick up a copy for yourself, too).
Screen Shot 2012-12-14 at 3.18.14 AMBuy: Sex Tips For Girls by Guys ($8)

2. For any and all of your witty girlfriends who have ever g-chatted you with “OMG, did you see SBB today? DYING.”
suris burn bookBuy: Suri’s Burn Book: Well-Dressed Commentary from Hollywood’s Little Sweetheart ($10)

3. For your prude sister who could use the tips, your incredibly innapropriate cousin who will read this in public, and any guy who has ever sent you a thumb-dick pic like the cover (I saw heard they’re making a comeback).
how to beBuy: How to Be Inappropriate ($13.50)

4. For your friends or family members who drink in excess (welp, that’s everyone on my list), the college kid who doesn’t own one cookbook, or the person you want to bring you hungover breakfast in bed (wink, wink).
The-Hungover-CookbookBuy: The Hungover Cookbook ($8)

5. For your lame shy friend who blushes at the mention of doggystyle. Help a sister out.
field guideBuy: The Field Guide to F*CKING: A Hands-on Manual to Getting Great Sex (Field Guides) ($12)

6. For your co-worker who’s always way too perky and refuses to gossip. Maybe it’ll spark some Haterade.
HateEveryone-450x511Buy: I Hate Everyone ($9)

7. For anyone who lives in the South and has ever heard someone (non-jokingly) exclaim “Fudge!”, “Sugar!” or “Son of a biscuit!” Awesome categories include “Sexy Talk” (I gotta’ read/use those) and “Safe for Church.”
craptasticBuy: The Craptastic Guide to Pseudo-Swearing ($10)

8. For your stoner college buddy (as if I really need to say that). The book even comes in a plastic baggie and is written by literary geniuses I.M. Stoned, Holden Blunts, and Will B. High.

big bag of weedBuy: The Big Bag of Weed: (Almost) Everything You Need When You Want to Get High ($15)

9. For your boyfriend/fiance/husband who hates cats. Duh.
cat loversBuy: Cat Lover’s Daily Companion: 365 Days of Insight and Guidance for Living a Joyful Life with Your Cat ($9)

10. For your white-as-they-come cronie who has the balls to read this in a public place around African-Americans with a serious face. Or for your weird uncle with no sense of humor. Just because.
how-to-be-black-baratunde-thurston-9780062003218Buy: How to Be Black ($10)

11. For your BFF who loved Lisa Frank just as much as you did back in the day (OMG, do you REMEMBER those Trapper Keepers?!). Not sure what she’ll do with 2,000 stickers, but it’s the nostalgia that counts.
lisaBuy: LISA FRANK Sticker Book 1885 Stickers Official Collector’s Set! ($9)

12. For your dad…who has zero idea what a hipster is.
dadsBuy: Dads Are the Original Hipsters ($10)

13. FYI: This is a finger puppet book about a day in the life of a penis (from a swim in a cold pool to getting drunk and hooking up). Gift it to someone you want to talk read dirty to. NOT the kids you babysit.
little penisBuy: Little Penis Book ($8)

14. For your Walking Dead-obsessed friend (hint: ME). I’ll always love you, Rick Grimes.
zombies-hate-stuff-topBuy: Zombies Hate Stuff ($10)

15. For your friend or family member who frequents Wal-Mart…by choice. Maybe it will scare them straight. #TargetForLife. (PS, do you think they sell this book at Wal-Mart?)
walmartBuy: People of Walmart: Of the People, By the People, For the People ($10)

Who ever said the classics were boring?

The End.

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  1. HAHAHA I bought #4 a few weeks ago in NYC at Bendel’s for my friend…


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