Seventeen mother freaking seasons. Good LAWD. But last night, the producers took it to a whole new level of awkward with the ladies’ introductions. A Fifty Shades of Grey-obsessed cat lady pulled an extra long….tie out of her cleavage, a cruise ship entertainer with a bad spray tan and even worse weave sang a desperate love song (luckily, her singing voice was slightly better than her beauty regime), and a chick’s botched backflip literally made me cover my eyes in horror. A girl named Ashley H. gave all of us Ashley Hs a bad name when she claimed to be a Southern belle complete with fake accent then turned straight hood when she got booted off. And let’s not forget the beginning when they brought Arie back in a pathetic interesting attempt to boost ratings (or something). Oh, and my favorite contestant so far has one arm. So there’s that.

But I think the most noteworthy event of the evening was the 24-year-old who actually said, “I wish I was more sober” on camera. Go girl. I think I was wasted every time I met a dude when I was 24. And let’s not forget what she was wearing.

This season might not be so bad after all.


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