Ladies (and gents, I know you’re out there), Valentine’s Day a.k.a. Singles Awareness Day a.k.a. The Most Excusable Holiday for a Wine + Chocolate Blackout is upon us. In merely eight days, men will propose to their lovely girlfriends in Macaroni Grills across the country holding rings from Kay Jewelers because they saw the commercial during Monday Night Football.

Bless their hearts. (And if anyone witnesses that scene, you best video it and send to me ASAP.)

For the rest of us whose kissses (or lack therof) are not beginning with Kay next week, I have something just as sparkly and a smidge cooler…and I’m GIVING THEM AWAY! These druzy and leather wrap bracelets ($147) by Atlanta jewelry designer extraordinaire Mickey Lynn (worn by celebs like Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Demi Lovato) are must-have accessories for any gal who appreciates the Boho-meets-rocker-meets-glam look (isn’t that all of us?). And in case you didn’t know, druzy stone is rumored to have magical, mate-attracting powers, so whether you’re enticing an already-existing Valentine or trying to find one, this is wristy business you gotta’ get into.

For Witty + Pretty- Druzy WrapThese gems could be yours…and all you have to do is share your deepest, darkest dating secret.

Kidding(ish). But to enter, you do have to share a bad/funny/mortifying dating or relationship story and I’ll be picking THREE winners (two randomly and one “crowd fave” with my esteemed panel of judges) at 5 p.m. on Monday so the winners will each receive one of the lovely pieces as a Valentine’s gift (and yes, you can choose your color–a first and second choice)!

The rules:
1) Post your story as a comment on this blog (you can be anonymous, but be sure to give me your real email address in case you win). Ideally, stories should be between 40-150 words.
2) Make sure you “like” Witty + Pretty and Mickey Lynn Jewelry on Facebook. It’s a requirement to win!
3) That’s it! It’s as easy as an MTV Teen Mom.

Oh, you want some inspiration? Ok fine.

When I was a sophomore in high school, the senior I was dating ditched me on Valentine’s Day to go to a club with his friends. I ate the entire box of fancy chocolates I had gotten SENT FROM HIS HOMETOWN…in one sitting. And cried.

One of my besties once went on a date with a guy who ordered her a drink at the bar while waiting for a table then left her to pay for it, assumed she had eaten before she came (whaaa?) so ordered dinner for himself then promptly handed the menus back to the server, got his food and scarfed it down without offering her a bite, then asked if she wanted to go back to his place. God, I wish that would have been me….

I once dated a guy who didn’t drink followed by a guy who didn’t have sex. It should come as no surprise that I went running into my ex’s arms right after that.

Can’t wait to hear yours! (Or can I…?)


Facebook Comments

Join the conversation! 35 Comments

  1. I don’t have facebook so I’m already disqualified to win, but I HAD to share this story:

    SOMEONE I know was online dating and was meeting a guy at Panera. When he showed up, he looked nothing like his picture, and had no hair and a giant beer belly. She decided to gave him a chance anyway so they ordered and then as he LIFTED UP HIS BELLY, she was ready to run, but then noticed the FANNY PACK he was wearing! He was getting out his wallet to pay for the meal. While they were eating her friend called as usual per each date. She said the code word followed by “what? you need me to come right now? on my way!” Needless to say, she didn’t have anymore dates with Fanny Pack George.

  2. For the record, I did not take him up on his offer. If he had shared even ONE of his spicy tuna rolls maybe it would have been a different story. JK. Only if it was a volcano roll.

  3. 5 years ago, I started seeing a guy over the summer. He invited me over to his apartment pool to hang, and right after that I had to break it off with him after that because OMG he had such a hairy back!

    Story ends on a good note: I realized I was a selfish bitch, never told the guy my hang-ups, and we’ve been married for 3 years now 🙂

  4. The blind date that will live in my personal infamy was at Cheesecake Factory about 10 years ago. As soon as we were seated, he asked me about the trifecta: politics, religion, and money. Then he curiously proceeded to explain to me that all the continents were once one, known as Pangaea. I let him know I also took 7th grade geography. He tried to feed me my dessert. After dinner, he drove me to my car and played the song “Girl you’ll be a woman soon” – which, naturally, was cued and ready to go. Before I left he let me know he was going home to conquer minions of dust bunnies (?). As soon as I sat in my car, he called my cellphone and said (to my voicemail as I watched in horror): “Now I called you; Ball’s in your court.” as he did the double gun point. WORST. DATE. EVER.

  5. I feel like I could publish a book on the amount of bad dates/ relationships. The best (of the worst that is): Was in a relationship with this guy for a year. On our one year he decides to make plans (romantic, right?)
    Buffalo Wild Wings.Monday Night Football.
    It gets better:
    He met the waitress there that when we broke up they started dating…ON VALENTINE’S DAY.
    The best part:
    I found out via Facebook.

  6. At the ripe and tender age of 19, I agreed to go with an older UGA frat bro to his formal in Atlanta. After carpooling down, we canoodled amongst the sea turtles (it was at the Aquarium) and everything was fine and dandy. After returning from the restroom, my date was nowhere to be found. Fast forward 20 minutes to me banging on our shared hotel room like a psycho (read: wasted) and I discover that not only has he locked me out – but he is getting busy with his roommate’s date. The next morning I had to convince the cleaning ladies that I wasn’t a stalker and my date had just locked me out (no biggie) so I needed to get my stuff. Then to add insult to injury, I had to BEG a group of guys for a ride back to Athens. Because of course, he left me stranded in Atlanta.

  7. Hmmm… decisions, decisions. Religious homophobic guy, sweaty knife thrower, or boring lady fingers.

  8. Read your blog and just had to share mine…so it was a second date with this guy and the first date he seemed normal enough–no huge sparks, but our 2nd date he invited me to a David Gray concert–who is one of my faves, so even if I didn’t like the guy, I was going! 😉 Anyways, I meet him at a bar before the concert and he is there w/some friends and pretty wasted already…this was like at 5:30 p.m. Let it slide though, just figured he was having fun and I wanted to see David Gray. So we jump in the back seat of his friend’s car to head to the show and he pulls out this thing of aluminum foil and says “I’ve got some great stuff here….” Turns out he was offering me angel dust…then proceeded to get pissed off because I wouldn’t try it! I don’t even know what angel dust is and last time I checked that is not an appropriate activity for a second date 😉 Finally got to the show and he proceeded to sit in everyone’s seat but our own and would not tell where ours were…eventually got to our seats though and I enjoyed the show besides him staring at me the whole time asking me if I was thinking about my ex-husband?! He texted me the next day to see if I wanted to go out again and asked me what happened the night before….needless to say he did not make it to a 3rd date! Scary thing is he was a single dad of two!

  9. I went on a date with my neighbor, bad idea I know. The saying, “don’t s**T where you sleep” has never been more true. We went to a nice place, but after a couple of drinks he started talking about politics. He then looked at me and said “you know September 11th is a conspiracy theory, right?” I was so shocked I almost spit my drink out. He proceeded to tell me that I was a bad American (I work in government) since I did not research public information more closely. He then proceeded to show me sites on his phone where I could “inform” myself for the rest of the date. Needless to say I ran up a steep wine bill (which he paid for) and ended the night wrapped in my Snuggie at home watching late night episodes of Friends. He moved soon there after and I dodged a crazy bullet.

  10. I had been living in Atlanta for 2 years after college and wanted to meet someone. I was growing up. A volunteer at my job (his Mom) who I loved offered to set me up with her son. She was laid back and artsy- I had nothing to looose. He came to pick me up and there was not a hello, hi, etc. Instead the first words my blind date uttered were, “I’m really bad at picking outfits, I hope this works.” We went to eat dinner and he informed me at the dinner table- he didn’t drink, but I could order a glass of wine (duh). After dinner, instead of taking me home he parked at a dark house in Buckhead. When I agreed to go inside to see it, since we were there, it wasn’t his. When the lights turned on we were at his OUT OF TOWN Grandmother’s home.

  11. Freshman year of college, my roommate’s friend set me up on a blind date with a fireman…sounded good in theory. We were going to meet for dinner, but when I got there a) he was with 3 other people, b)they were at a booth for 4 only, c)they were all already eating their entree, d) they had all come from a friend’s funeral and that was ALL they talked about as I awkwardly sat in a chair in the middle of the restaurant eating a side salad (that I had to pay for!)
    For whatever reason, I decided to join them at his house for a drink after dinner where I learned he had a 6 year old daughter but “it wasn’t a big deal because I haven’t seen her since she was like 3”. I text 911 to everyone in my phone immediately and the first person to call back because my melodramatic escape plan– “What? Little Jimmy fell down a well? I’m leaving now!” No more blind dates for me!

  12. My favorite bad date:

    I met a guy at Ormsby’s – usually a good spot to find decent gents, especially in the summer when it’s not packed with recently legal Tech kids. He was pretty insistent on taking me out, which I respect, so I decided to give him my number and join him for a date. We planned to meet at Pozole in the Highlands – despite living in Atlanta for 7 years, he had never heard of it, which should have been my first sign. I arrive, wait for about 20 minutes, and then get a frantic call – he’s lost. There are two streets in the Virginia-Highlands. Virginia and Highland. Sign number two. He finally arrived in an almostpecbutstillmanboob-hugging crew neck with a shopping bag from his latest trip to the ecco shoe outlet. He only swung it into a few other patrons as we made our way down the narrow deck to our table. Before sitting, he reaches in to his bag of tricks and pulls out a bouquet of exotic flowers and a watermelon. Correction – half a watermelon. Saran wrap and all. Apparently it was left over from the birthday party he hosted for himself over the weekend. I quickly order a jalepeno marg – my favorite and the saving grace. He orders a glass of red wine. Apparently he’s not really into liquor, or beer for that matter (but we met at Ormsby’s?). The conversation lasted as long as the salsa trio, he signed the check and escorted me to my car. I thanked him for a nice time and he reminded me not to forget my gift. Atleast I left with a good story and healthy dose of lycopenes.

  13. I went on a blind date with a guy that was recommended by a good friend. He picked me up and we drove to a sushi place near by. His car reeked of cigarette smoke. I could barely see my hand from all the smoke/ash remnants. It was ridiculous. The conversation flowed fine at dinner, but when the check came, he said that his bests dates are the ones where you go Dutch. Uh huh. Of course. He drove me home, but I had to ask him to drop me off before my house b/c I literally could not breathe in his car. I got out of the car as quickly as I could. He looked at me, surprised, and said “Ok, we’ll kiss later then.” 5 mins later he called me to see if I got home ok.

  14. OMG. I just had to tell my story because its literally scared me from going on blind dates. (I’m still pissed at this friend who set this up) well, the guy wanted to go to Leon’s which got me excited because let’s get real here… Leon’s is the shiz. I told him I would meet him there because honestly, I didn’t want him to know where I lived just to play it safe. HE SHOWED UP ON A MOUNTAIN BIKE Y’ALL. Like, a huffy. He trys to order is shots within 15 minutes. I mean, shots are only okay when taken with the girls & in buckhead. He talks only anout himself and how smart him & his entire fanily are. ( his mom has a phd or something like that) WE WALK BACK TO HIS BIKE and my car & he tries to kiss me. Those are the major details. And that is my story. I felt I just HAD to share.

  15. So last year, against my better judgement, I signed up for E-Harmony. I was 25 and single (gasp!) and my friends had been urging me to try online dating. Well one night while at a friend’s house, and after about 3 too many margaritas, I let me my friend complete my profile. When I recieved some messages from a guy who had pretty good taste in music and seemed normal, I decided to go for it. We decided to meet for drinks at a taqueria between where we lived. Of course I texted my friends exactly what I was wearing, the address of where we were meeting, and my dental records. We actaully had 4 hour converation, however, I still left not feeling particularly attracted to him. Again I let mey friends talk me into giving him one more chance. We met again the next weekend for dinner and drinks and about 10 minutes into dinner I decided that I WAS NOT attracted to him. So of course every little thing that I wasn’t attracted to instantly slapped me in the face…”Do his arms seem a little short?”. Naturally, when he asked if I wanted to go to the bar next door for another drink, I said yes. (I’m a push over when I feel awkward). After what seemed like an eternity of him talking about religion and politics (no, I’m not kidding), he decided to walk me the entire half of a mile to my car. As we were waking I noticed he kept creeping closer and closer next to me and even though I kept my hands in my pocket the whole walk and insisted I wasn’t cold, he went to put his arm around my shoulder. But wait…yes, his arms were a little too short. His fingertips barely reached around my arm. So we continued to walk to my car, awkward bouncing off each other like two 6th graders who’ve never walked next to someone of the opposite sex before. It was miserable and the longest half mile of my life. And yes, he went in for a kiss. I got in my car, drove off, deleted my on-line profile and ignored all his calls and texts from that point on. I know it’s not the most mature thing, but I need a man who could at least try to feel me up when he puts his arm around me. Is that too much for a single to ask?!

  16. Long story short I had a massive crush on one of my friends best friends and I think (thought) he was into me too. One NYE we finally hit it off .. flirting and dancing (and DRINKING) until 2am, at which point we decided to break into our mutual friends apt (who was out of town.) I was so excited/nervous. I snuck into the bathroom to quickly remove my high wasted Spanx (just in case.) Being HAMMERED, I was having a hard time getting them off, hopping around on one foot I fell into the shower (backwards) slamming my back against the ceramic (built into the wall) soap dish, causing it to break in half and SLASH my back open. Then the shower rod collapsed on my head. I laid in the glass and blood for a good minute until I came to, when I heard Crush asking “are you okay?” outside the door. “Oh I’m FINE!!.” I quickly composed myself .. re-hung the shower rod and curtain, tossed my spanx in my purse, and ran from the apt. Leaving the carnage and the crush behind, for good.

  17. I get invited to a formal in college by this guy and I was really surprised mostly because in “girl language” that means “he likes you” which was exciting! Until, of course, the day of. He calls that he is downstairs and when I get to the car I see that all of his friends are laughing.


    Because he thought he was talking to my sister/ “irish twin” and was expecting her. His friends gave him the wrong number because they thought it would be funny. This was the worst date ever and lesson well learned: always answer your phone with your name (and repeat if possible.) #ThankGodForOpenBar.

  18. I had been on a couple dates with a really hot client. My first no-no but I figured no one at the office would find out. He invited me over to his house and offered to cook me dinner. When I arrived I found out that he still lived with his parents. Luckily they were “cool” parents and vacated the home for the evening. He brought out some wine while we were waiting on dinner. It was manischewitz! I knew he was Jewish but I didn’t know he was that Jewish. I felt like the night couldn’t get any worse so I hit that bottle pretty hard. A few bottles in fact. I passed out before dinner, or anything else, could happen. I woke up in the morning hungover and freaking out that I had to be at work in 30 minutes. I work OTP pretty close to his house and far from mine so I knew I wouldn’t have time to rush home. So I splashed some water on my face, used some mouthwash, and rushed to Target to buy a dress to wear to work so that I didn’t have to wear a rumpled version of the dress I wore the day before. I haven’t had manischewitz, or that boy, ever since!

  19. I was living with a guy who was a very picky drinker. We went out on St. Patrick’s day with some friends of ours, and he wouldn’t partake of the requisite green pitcher. Instead, he kept throwing back jager bombs (the mac n’ cheese of alcohol, I guess…?).
    We got into a tiff on the way home about something stupid. The fight continued into the bedroom, where my guy finally shouted “I don’t even care anymore!” and made to throw himself on the bed dramatically. But in his state of over-drunkenness, he overshot the bed entirely, landing on the floor on the other side. The funniest part is, he just stayed down there.
    Our friends, by the way, were there in the apartment the whole time. They slept over in the living room that night, and my cat crawled all over their faces. Ah, good times.

  20. I always love the one where my dentist, yeah weird I know, there’s obviously a back story for another time here, took me out for my birthday. We were sitting in his car, rain pouring down, waiting for it to let up a lil bit so we make a run for the bar to meet my friends. He turned to me, took my hand and said, “I’m married.”
    Yep, his beautiful wife & daughter lived in Brazil & were making the move to Atlanta in a matter of days.
    I proceeded to leap out of the car, stand in the rain & scream obscenities at him until my girlfriend came & escorted me into the bar. Happy Friggen Birthday to Me.

  21. One time I went to my ex boyfriends house to hang out because we were trying the friends thing and all of his friends were over. I was chatting with them trying to be polite while my ex got wasted. He finally comes over to me and in front of everyone starts screaming at me about the only reasons i dated him were for his alcohol and his friends. I stood there and took it, once he was done I was looked at him and said “Pretty much.” then walked out of his house. I havent seen him since and it has been the best year ever.

  22. It’s so nice to know I am not the only one with awful dating stories!

    Sadly this story didn’t even make it to the date!

    I am always complaining to my (gay) friends that they need to help me find a man.. so one day one of my good friends tells me he has a perfect match for me and he met him through a friend and the guy is a model/ professional dancer. I was skeptic at first but decided to give it a try. So fast forward…. and the night before our date I ask my friend what the dates last name was since I wanted to FB stalk. I find his profile and it was pretty bare… and I was pretty bored that night so I decide to google him too. I find a random webpage with a video of some interview he is doing and in the comments section I read something that calls him a different name. Weird right? Well I google that name and find out that the guy I am supposed to go on a date with is supposedly the internet’s “#1 bisexual pornstar”. Needless to say I never made it to dinner with him… and I almost murdered my friend for ever trying to set us up.

  23. There was a cute Australian I’d see whenever he came to town. On our third date, he convinces me to come back to his hotel for coffee and swears he’ll be a gentleman. Once in the room, he immediately tries to spank me. I manage to squirm away and suggest it’s time for me to leave. He pleads that at least have a cup of coffee.

    He’s acting so strangely that I worry he’s going to drug the coffee, so when he looks away I pour it out. To my horror, when I turn back around he’s removed his pants and is having a good ol’ wank. I laugh and say “you must be kidding,” but before I can react further, he tries to angle me so that he can finish up on my lovely cashmere sweater. Who does that?

    At this point I get the hell out of dodge. Half an hour later he leaves me a message to say that he’d be happy to come spend the night at my place and just take a taxi home the next day. What a catch!

  24. Not on facebook either, but still wanted to share. No extremely horrifying moment, but a bunch of small indiscretions that really made this date a stinker…

    Met this man at Noche (ugh, strike one, as it usually attracts a particularly OTP crowd, which is just not for me), and after a few cocktails, he’s charmed me into giving him my number. He texts a few days later, and we decide to meet at Flying Biscuit (long story) for a dinner date that week. When I arrive at the restaurant, I see that he’s wearing Jesus sandals. You know the ones- those old school Doc Martin sandals that had their heyday in the 90s and which now not even my Tommy Bahama-loving father would deign to wear. Forgive me for being a shallow bitch, but… strike two. We order drinks — me a beer, him a MILK. A milk. On a grown up date. (Again, shallow bitch here… but strike three). The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful – – literally. He showed me hundreds of pictures on his digital camera of his recent trip to New York (I wonder if that works on other ladies?). Anyway, in the course of dinner conversation he also casually reveals that he is moving to Indiana in a matter of days so, sadly, true love was not in the books for us.

  25. I went on a second date with a guy a few months ago. We went to Agave (one of my favs) and before we could order, a server brought us shots, which we hadn’t ordered. We look toward the bar where he realizes the coworkers he went to happy hour with had followed him to our date and were watching. If dating was a spectator sport, I was certainly the underdog here.

    Later in the evening, I fell down the stairs and completely busted my butt on our way for him to introduce me to his coworkers.

    It was magical.

  26. Went on a date with a guy I met at one of the many drunken festival nights at Park Tavern– I can’t remember exactly which one, I am sure it involved green beer or oysters, though. We met at the restaurant for dinner, everything was fine, until he handed me his phone and asked me to take a picture of him. I thought this was really strange, but I took his phone…. I looked down at the screen where I had accidentally pulled up the web browser, displaying the last site he had been peeping at… it was a website to find “hot asian girls in your area” and the last message he had sent asked the girl if she was “ready to f***?”…. Can’t make this stuff up. I just handed him back his phone, ate my dinner and left as soon as possible…. AWKWARD!

  27. So, there was this guy who had been houding me to go out with him for at least 6 months. i turned him down hard everytime but that only seemed to fuel his fire. He liked the chase, that was obv. Finally i gave in thinking that i will go out with him, get a free dinner and all of this will be over. So we made plans. Which i then regreted and bailed on. But he wasent going to take that, so he shows up at my house (he was a friend-ish of the family so it wasnet as creepy/stalker as it sounds). He brings in a bottle of wine with him, it was my favorite so i let him in. We drank the bottle and i noticed that he was seeming waay drunker than i was, i can down a bottle and still act pretty normal. Found out later that he had done shots before he came over. He was starting to get a little touchy feeley and i knew he was going to try to make a move. i had the bright idea of trying to change the mood to make it as less romantic as possible, so i throw the movie Saw II into the DVD player. that didnt work. time to change my game plan. maybe he needs some fresh air to sober up, so we go take my dog outside. THis is the point where he tried so hard to kiss me that he ends up tackeling me to the ground! keep in mind that it is winter, cold, and had recently rained. I punched him-and he loved it. we finally made it back inside where i was about to kick him out when he looks at me and says “i think im going to get sick”. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??? so he goes and pukes all over my bathroom and in my new Pottery Barn trash can. i dont want him to die on his way home so i did the polite thing and let him sleep it off at my house. after i cleaned the house, er puke up, i got in bed. turns out, he is a snorer. Like a trucker with sinus issues. now im pissed. its a Tuesday night and i have to work in the morning! so i go out to the couch to try to sleep. he wakes up and realizes that i am on the couch. he comes out and says he feels so bad that he was such a douche and proceeds to lay down on the floor in front of my couch and starts snoring again! at this point i am ok with him risking his life getting home and i kicked him out.

  28. So, I met this cute boy through work last year. At that moment, I’d been hooking up with the noncommittal asshole and been texting a guy who was married (which by the way, I didn’t know he was married). So, imagine my happiness and surprise when I met a guy who SEEMED normal enough. He was cute, smart, had a good job at a reputable firm, etc. Jackpot!

    We start texting and whatever, but it was right before my birthday. We met up for coffee in the middle of the day during work one week (sorry, boss!) and oh, he was so charming. I invited him to my birthday party, so all seemed fine. I told my friends, hey! maybe I met a normal dude.

    Flash forward to my birthday party – dude shows up alone super late, but you know, no big deal. I have my gay BFF interrogate him and we find out, oh… he has a girlfriend with whom he shares a dog with! WHAT. Ok, fine, not interested. Yeah, because I ignore him, he then makes out with a random girl. I’m pretty sure that’s not your girlfriend.

    Later that night, my friends and I decide to Google him. What do we find? He’s on for PORN. Really? Gross.

  29. OK…I’m not ashamed, I’ve dated online. Let’s be real. I’ve dated online, a lot. Usually I have a pretty harsh weed through process.. But there are always some that somehow, miraculously get through the process. Anyway, I met this dude online that seemed pretty normal (funny, had a job, had a car, no cats, etc.) and so I decided to meet him for real (In Real Life-IRL) anyway, we met at Dantanna’s in Buckhead for drinks. I get there and call him to see if he is there.. yep. he just parked. Great! Me too.. well.. he gets out of his car — midget. SWEAR TO GOD. I decided to be the bigger person (literally) and have a drink (or ten) with him. He was a super nice (liar about his height) guy who I never went out with again.

  30. Hey from a DC fan!
    I recently met a guy at a bar, seemed to have some things in common, gave him my number. You know the story.
    He texted, and set up a time to meet, I decided what the hell.
    Met him at a nice bar, I was running about 10 mins behind. He texted asking what I wanted to drink, I said I could order when I got there. (roofie? duh!) So I arrive, and there is an ominous glass of white wine sitting at the bar for me. It was the cheapest most terrible white wine ever-gag. Also, he had on a BAD suit and BAD shoes, normally it’s 3 strikes you’re out.
    Again, I decide to him a chance. We end up bar hopping all night, he apparently had ADD….we didn’t finish one drink at one bar, he continued to order my drinks for me, and the conversation was all over the place. Mother/Father issues, work issues, competencey issues, you name it he was a bag of tricks . Finally, I guess I had had enough, literally. I found myself saying I was running to the ladies room, and I’d be right back. Before I knew it, I was running down the street in the rain and caught the first cab. No idea where those balls came from or what took over, but I never looked back. He called and texted, and reprimanded me for my bad manners. I didn’t have the heart to respond and tell him that I don’t date the overbearing headcase type.

  31. My junior year of college, my new boyfriend and I were at a party with some friends and my younger brother.

    At one point, there’s a lull in the conversation, and I hear my bf go: “SO, MICHELLE GIVES TEETHY BJ’S.” I was horrified… I wanted to tell everyone, “No I don’t! I played a joke on him a few weeks ago that Cosmo was saying to “use more teeth,” but clearly he didn’t get it!”… But that’s a bit much to explain when you’re drunk and everyone’s staring at you.

    My brother, who was beyond pissed, came up to me and was like, “yeah… I think it’s time for me to go.” Um, yes, and let’s never speak of this again?

    Of course, being young and dumb, I kept the bf around for too long after that, but this is one giant “red flag” that reminds me he wasn’t a keeper!

  32. Its really hard to pick just one! But here it goes. I went out with my friends one night determined to meet a guy (by meet I men hook up….duh) and started talking to a guy I went to high school with. He was cute enough and I sort of knew him already, so no harm no foul, right? Well I end up at his friends which is 45 minutes away with no way to leave. So he next morning he brings me to my car and promises to call. Whatever. Later tat day he does call and starts spilling his entire life story and tells me he has a kid and wants me to meet him. Yes, after one night together. Skip ahead to the next weekend where we end up at the same bar and then entire night he is holding my hand and dragging me around like we have been together for years. I finally am able to ditch him and hang with my girls only to have his brother come tell me that he has left and has been in a car accident and I need to come. Not to be rude but there are other people that would need to go. Not me. Turns out there never was a car accident and that was away to Ty to get me to come see him. Yikes!!

  33. I am SO sad I missed the deadline on this because these bracelets are my new obsession, but I had to share my bad dating story. It happened to take place on Valentine’s Day about 9 years ago…

    When I was in college I made a string of unfortunate dating decisions. One of them was a bouncer at the bar I cocktail waitressed at. He wasn’t very bright and he lived in a trailer but he was a baseball player and just.. so… pretty. So I kept him around for the sheer fact that we looked really good together and I was pretty sure he made my ex furious. (Hey, it was college.)

    Then, on Valentine’s day, he took me to dinner. At Applebees. He went all out and ordered a steak. Which he proceeded to eat WITH HIS HANDS. As if it was a hamburger. He just picked it up and started gnawing on it. When I let out an uncomfortable giggle and whispered “Uhhh… What are you doing?” his response was “We come from two different worlds, sweetheart.” WTF? I don’t even know what that means, but I did not take the time to find out. I walked outside and called my friend. Relationship over. He wasn’t THAT pretty.

  34. Hi there, just wanted to tell you, I loved this blog post.
    It was funny. Keep on posting!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *




, , , , ,