Well, my 10-day 30th birthday bender (July 3-13) is finally over (waaaaah!) and I am ALMOST recovered. A couple more Flywheel doubles and days of Chuice chugging and I should be back to normal. I celebrated with a beach week (remember?), and then an Atlanta soiree, which included a Fur Bus pickup, pig roast at my favorite restaurant Barcelona, followed by a night of frozen drinks and drunken dancing at #1 college-style tiki bar in the city, Flip Flops. Over the 10-day span, I drank about 38 gallons of vodka, took nearly 94 Fireball shots, ate approximately 59 desserts, killed 17,000 brain cells, and gained somewhere between 3 and 37 pounds.

As for material gifts, I received this Rebecca Minkoff tote (because I’m a grownup now), a custom-labeled vodka bottle (because I obviously needed more booze), a boat from my brother (well, a booze cruise), and some other awesome things from my amazing loved ones, but the most incredible gift was a video that my best friend Kate put together with the help of my family and closest friends. They presented it to me at the pig roast; I laughed and cried for 4 minutes and 9 seconds, then walked around hugging and texting people in a dizzy state of elated awe for the next hour.

Here it is:

I’m still in awe that she got everyone to participate (apparently, a spreadsheet and lots of emails were involved) and taught herself iMovie technology. A couple things of note:

1. The midget and the woman on the coffee table are my parents. In some takes, they took the shots, and my mom used water, while my dad used vodka (shocker). At the end of their 18 takes, my dad was drunk and my mom pushed him off the coffee table. Sadly, that clip didn’t make the cut.

2. That sleeping baby in the Clemson onesie is actually a real baby, not a doll. I know…

3. The guy eating the salad and burrito is my friend Trey and he’s single (if you can believe it). Find him on Tinder if you’re interested.

4. That is not my grandfather at the end, so don’t get all emotional. It’s my friend Leigh’s grandfather, who is obviously a boob man.

5. I feel so HASHTAG #BLESSED to have the best, funniest, most creative, and loving friends and family in the world.

Do it alllllllll again……

Next year.

30-year-old Ashley

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  1. That. IS. EPIC.

    Happy belated!

  2. […] you may know, I just turned 30, I am unmarried, and couldn’t be happier with my place in life right now. My career is on […]


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