As I pen this riveting review, it’s Wednesday night. And I am still feeling the bodily effects from a Stellar Bodies class…….ON SATURDAY.

I mean, I’m no bodybuilder, but that is just bananas.

Stellar’s SPX fitness uses a Megaformer machine that kicks your ass like no other. Using the evolution of Pilates, “it is designed to utilize both upper and lower body muscles, using springs and pulleys that will set the resistance and counter resistance of the workout.” Basically, you do variations of planks, lunges, squats, sit-ups, etc., lift weights, and more on this crazy contraption that looks like something out of Fifty Shades of Grey, and it works your arms, back, abs, muffin top, butt, legs, thighs (and more importantly, inner thighs) more than a weekend bender with Christian Grey himself. There is one maneuver that literally works 600 muscles. Who knew we even had 600 muscles? Not this dummy.

When I’m doing the 50-minute class (which I’ve done twice), I seriously wonder (whilst sweating profusely) why I would subject myself to such torture, but I know that just one or two SPX workouts a week and I’ll be posting “thigh gap” selfies by March.

Just kidding, you guys. I’m not (that) trashy.

Without further explanation, here’s a video that, somehow in the editing process, tuned into a fitness soft porn. Ish.


And this video doesn’t even show the lunges, squats, and inner thigh moves that really make you want to die (in a good way). Bottom line, this is one of the hardest and most effective fitness classes out there. Do it regularly (with cardio and a decent diet) and you’ll forget you even had “problem areas.” You’ll also want to be naked all the time (keep in mind, you must be clothed for the class).

If you’re not in Atlanta, there are similar classes in most major cities–SLT in NYC, Plank Studio opening soon in Philly, Jet Set in Miami. (BTW, if you ARE in Atlanta, Icebox Cryotherapy is right next door and you’re gonna’ need it.) Also: First class at Stellar is FREE so you won’t even have to pay for the pain!

So for a seriously tightening/toning/bikini body workout, give the kinky torture chamber Megaformer a whirl. If you think you can handle it…


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