I have been to New York Fashion Week once, and that was enough for me. Until I’m famous enough to get front row seats to the hottest shows with cocktails included and not have to wait in line, I’ll pass. In other words, I guess that first time was my last.

But I do enjoy checking out the coverage, seeing some of the wild fashions that will inspire less-wild (read: wearable) versions of themselves in the coming seasons, scoping the beauty trends, and trying to decipher fashion bloggers’ blurry runway photos from the standing room only section.

And the hair, which puts the spectacle……..in spectacular. Now, I’ve seen plenty of lovely lady locks this time around, including big ass buns at Carolina Herrerra, princess-y chignons at Dolce and Gabbana, and deep side parts with natural waves at Vera Wang. But I’ve also seen some total disasters I’d like to address. And before I do, let me assure you I understand the purpose of ridiculous fashion week hair is to shock, entertain, or just be plain weird, and I can respect that. I’m just not going to hit up my hairdresser for these doozies.

Presenting the dumbest hair at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Fall 2014:

1. This greasy mess at Phillip Lim.
philip lim fashion week 2014This looks like my hair after I haven’t washed it for 4 days (ie. every Thursday). Guess that means I’m high fashion.

2. These gajillion bobby pins at Zac Posen.
zac posen hair fashion week 2014Buy a pack of Goody bobbies and see how many you can stick in your hair. Don’t try to hide them, because that would be too Senior Prom 2001 (I would know). And definitely don’t get drunk and pass out or you will wake up with a stab wound to the back of the neck.  (Those waves are gorge, though.)

3. This frizz fro.
reem acra fashion week 2014 hair
Because this doesn’t look like something that any of us girls would have nightmares about. At all.

4. These cornrows at Helmut Lang.
fashion week fall 2014 hair trend
A ’90s comb headband that gives you cornrows AND a migraine? Sign me up.

5. This perm.
fall 2014 fashion week curls
Which gives me flashbacks of my first (and last) perm
perm 1

6. This chignon with rat tails at Tadashi Shoji.
fall 2014 fashion week chignon
I don’t care if you’re 5’11 and 96 lbs and walking the runway in a $984985345 outfit. You have thin strands hanging down your neck like this gal and two words come to mind: Rat tail.

7. This rock hard toupe at Alexander Wang.
fashion week fall 2014 hairBecause when you run out of hairspray, just use spray paint?

But these gorgeous styles will still never beat this gem from the spring 2014 shows:

I love fashion.


Images 1 and 2 from Allure Magazine Instagram, 3 and 6 from HarpersBazaar.com, 4 and 5 from Eonline.com.

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