This weekend, I did not have one drink. And no, I was not in jail, rehab, or a dry county.

I did not go out, put makeup on, wear anything without an elastic waistband, and barely interacted with people. And I loved it.

What…a loser.

Mind you, I had my weekend on Wednesday with the CATASTROPHIC (not really) ice storm and it involved downing four bottles of red wine between two girls (you do the math), playing Cards Against Humanity (my new favorite thing in life), doing yoga headstands, and making snow angels in the street (vino in hand). But I digress. I knew going into the weekend (VALENTINE’S WEEKEND at that) I needed to detox, and with no commitments (albeit, temptations), it would be the perfect time to do so.

Friday: Two Flywheel classes (to compensate for the hungover Mexican bingefest the day before), picked up healthy food for dinner (and a cookie because Valentine’s Day), watched The Best Man Holiday (depressing as shit, btw), got some work done, was in bed by midnight.

Saturday: Slept in, had coffee and healthy breakfast whilst watching Property Brothers (duh), ran some errands including buying dog treats, 10 minutes later gave dog treats to a homeless man with a dog (#DeweyWasNotImpressed), took Dewey hiking at a beautiful park outside the city…
dewey at sweetwater park…came home, cooked dinner, watched an hour of lame TV, then opted for starting a new book and was reading in bed by 11 p.m. (#NerdAlert), while everyone’s social media selfies showed they were just starting to get #TurntUp at the club.

Sunday: Woke up before 10 (crazy), walked Dewey to the coffee shop, sat on the patio and sipped/read my book, made eye contact with a hot guy, punched myself in the face when hot guy’s girlfriend showed up, worked a little, went on a two-on-one date at Snow Mountain with my friend Ellen and her bf, dined at this awesome, small-town, German restaurant afterward (where I did have ONE beer because duh, and that doesn’t count), came home, watched Walking Dead, got on Tinder for the first time (holy amazing, btw), went to bed with my book.

Now, I’ve had many a weekend where I hibernated one night and raged (or at least wine buzzed) the other, but staying in both nights is something I don’t do as much, because let’s be honest—-it can be fucking boring. Everyone’s all, “Come over, drink wine, let’s go flirt with dudes,” and I’m like, “I’m going to stay in, eat kale, and cuddle with my dog.” WHAT!?

But here’s why it’s awesome (occasionally):

1. Feeling fresh and amazing on Sunday instead of hungover and suicidal. Oh, Sunday anxiety. Is there anything worse? You wake up from a fun (you think) night, still in your clothes (or missing your clothes), teeth feeling like there’s fur on them, a text log you’re scared to look at, and a list of stuff you planned on doing that you know you’ll never attempt. If you brunch/day drink, that eases the pain temporarily, but by 9 p.m. Sunday evening when that buzz fades and you realize you haven’t even showered and the workweek is mere hours away, you need a Xanax the size of a Butterfinger.

But if you DON’T drink all weekend, you hop out of bed on Sunday, ready to get outdoors, do P90X, organize your closet, go to Target, make a smoothie, knit a sweater vest, write your memoir, etc. It feels so incredible.

2. A more productive week ahead. The older we get, the longer hangovers linger. If you get bombed Saturday night, you’re not fully “cured” and clear-headed by Monday morning. Take a weekend off and you might actually wake up Monday morning and want to start crushing work, which will carry over all week.

3. Weight loss. If for the past decade or so, you’ve been “good” (for the most part) during the week but binge drinking and eating on the weekends, then guess what: Your body has figured it out. If you shock the body, you’ll see results. I swear, when I take a weekend off from drinking/eating out, my body throws itself into double-time skinny mode. Throw in some weekend workouts and you’ll be mistaken for Gisele come Monday.

4. Doing something new/different. On Saturday, I knew outdoors were on the agenda, but I had the urge to venture away from the BeltLine in my backyard and go somewhere I’d never been. On Saturday night, instead of ordering a movie OnDemand, I picked up a new book. And Sunday, I went snow tubing (#Sochi2014), ate schnitzel in the ‘burbs (what?), and got on Tinder. My sober, energetic, clear-headed self felt the need for new experiences.

5. Saving money. Compare a party weekend budget with a nerd weekend budget. If we didn’t drink, we’d be millionaires.

Long live Fireball.

Sober Ashley (for now)

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