Phew. Thanks to Racked (and my former DailyCandy editor Lauren), I just read this article by Gala Darling inspired by a piece on The Cut titled, “Why Not Admit We Didn’t Wake Up Like This?” Nevermind that chain reaction (I just wanted to credit everyone), but take a look at THIS doozy of an observation from The Cut:

“If anyone is willing to admit she definitely did not wake up like this, it’s Kim Kardashian…..“Kim K skills,” as Kanye calls them, are all about being ruthlessly strategic and working hard to achieve the life you want. And not being afraid to admit that’s what you’re doing. Kardashian is peddling a path to happiness and success that is no less materialistic than the one promoted by Paltrow or Lively; she’s just up-front about it. Even if you don’t have any desire to take your infant for a walk while sporting glittery eyeliner and a tuxedo jacket taped to your bare, spray-tanned breasts, her embrace of artifice is kind of a relief. Her look screams “effort.” She’s wealthy and beautiful like Lively and Paltrow — but at least she’s not acting like everything came easy.”

Praise the Lawd for that. I’m not a Kim K. fan by ANY stretch, but the only thing more annoying than a vain celebrity who posts ass selfies is the “Oh, this old thing?” attitude of “lifestyle leaders” like Gwyneth and Blake Lively (whose new site is hilariously awful, btw). You see it on Instagram, Pinterest, and thousands of blogs in spades: Effortless perfection. Just once, I’d like to see some flawless dinner party setup with the caption, “Mother F*CK, this took forever and I cried twice,” or a fashion blogger in her REAL work-from-home outfit. If you generally enjoy making your own monogrammed marshmallows, that’s great, but you don’t have to be a douche about it. And if you’re posting a selfie of your perfectly blown-out, voluminous lady locks with hashtag #BigHairDontCare, just admit you came from the damn salon. As for mothers who only portray the image of “My children are perfectly groomed and behaved every single day, and life is a breeze,” I have a newsflash for you: We know you’re lying.

Although in Gwyneth’s defense, she does admit to doing two hours of Tracy Anderson method daily, which if you know anything about fitness, is an absolutely absurd and inefficient waste of time, plus she could be doing more important things like charging $245 for this stupid sweatshirt.

I highly recommend reading the full articles and just remember, even Beyonce doesn’t wake up looking like Beyonce.


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