Jennifer Lopez’s “Booty” video is out, and I didn’t think this was possible, but it has MORE ASS THAN THE “ANACONDA” VIDEO. There are no pineapples spinning on record players, pink hand weights, or Drake’s boner; just J. Lo and I.G.G.Y’s ass cheeks, a lot of lube (plus EOS lip balm because product placement?), and a heavy overall vibe of softcore porn.

Real quick though…
j lo and kids
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I mean, was the director like, “We got the taint shot; that’s a wrap!”

Listen, J. Lo has an incredible body and she should be very proud (I mean, I probably wouldn’t wear a Scala prom dress circa 2001 on the red carpet, but whatever). But doesn’t there come a point in a woman’s life, say after 25 (or even 30) when she feels a little silly twerking? When she should wonder why she’s lubing herself up and rubbing her ass up against someone literally half her age for Internet attention? Or ask herself why she’s desperately trying to prove to the world she’s STILL GOT DAT ASS with two children at home?

For the record, I say act like a stripper for your significant other in the privacy of your own home ALL THE DAMN TIME, and express your sexuality, too…just not in such a blatant, basic way. I know I may sound judgmental, but honestly I’m just baffled. Jennifer Lopez has had an amazingly successful career with television, movies (um hello, Monster in Law), music, dancing, and more. And on top of that, she has a family and is still drop-dead gorgeous at age 45. And I think most people considered her a (fairly) classy starlet. She could have been a legendary, triple-threat celebrity, but now she’s just in the pile with Nicki, Iggy, and Kim K, all trying to out-ass each other and shock/twerk/Instagram their way to the top of the big booty charts.

I miss Jenny from the Block.

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