Since I’m on my phone 94.7% of the time, I get excited about new technology/tricks/apps/etc. (STILL WAITING ON THAT DAMN TACO EMOJI BTW), but it takes a lot to get me REALLY worked up. But Snapchat’s new Discover feature has me giddy as a wine drunk Bachelor contestant on a helicopter date. It launched yesterday and I was all “WTF is this, I bet it’s a bunch of sponsored bullshit” but then I clicked on it and started immediately Sister Act praising to the Snap Gods.

First of all, if you don’t have Snapchat or you’re all, “I mean I have it, but I just like, don’t get it,” that’s an article for another day. But for the record, it’s not that hard to “figure out” if you’re a (halfway) intelligent and creative person (no offense). I had cold feet at first, too, but after about five minutes, I got the hang of it because life skills. If you’re just not interested (nothing wrong with that; I mean, I don’t Vine), I still recommend hopping on it for this feature.

Here’s the homepage:


The next step should be pretty self-explanatory. You click on the button you’re interested in (um, all of them because the list has been curated #LikeABoss), and you’ll have a selection of five(ish) visually pleasing articles and full-screen videos. Seriously, everything is stunning, especially if you have the iPad iPhone 6+. You swipe through the headlines, then swipe up to read/watch more, and the content changes every 24 hours because “what’s new today is history tomorrow” according to the sentimental folks at Snapchat. An overview:

Comedy Central (FTMFW)
Clips/sketches from The Daily Show, Key & Peele, Inside Amy Schumer, Broad City, and more so you can laugh out loud on the train to work and make everyone wonder what’s so funny/what meds you’re on.



News so you can be informed on something other than what your new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s #OOTD on Instagram is.

The Daily Mail

Edgier news for date conversations and stuff.



Life-changing tips and advice. I didn’t see any raunchy sex tips on the first day, but maybe they’re easing in slowly. (Too easy.)

Food Network

Recipes and shit because we’re adults. Seriously though, WHERE IS MY CHEF BOYFRIEND THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.


All your celeb gossip so you can stop watching E! News because it’s terrible.


Fashion and shopping tips.

Warner Music
A crown jewel with new, awesome songs + fun tidbits about the music videos before they play.

National Geographic
I mean, need I say more…

I love this for so many reasons. When you’re waiting around with nothing to do (subway station, gridlock traffic, a coffee shop when your loser Tinder date is late, Planned Parenthood), it’s more productive than social media stalking your crush (because you already did that 523947923847 times earlier in the day) or playing Candy Crush. True story: I had one of my coolest, wittiest friends admit to me recently that she had actually played Candy Crush in her lifetime because it was “something to do” when all other options on her phone were exhausted. I was horrified and hope she has discovered Discover so that never happens again. Actually…

Brb, let me text her.

Ok, I’m back.

I’m also excited and intrigued by anything that’s changing the way we get information. So many of us are always #OnTheRun (whatup, Bey) and our attention spans are basically nonexistent, so short bursts of news, comedy, lifestyle tips, recipes, sports, music, BABY SLOTHS, etc. are a perfect way to stay updated and well-rounded via our devices without navigating through a bunch of annoying apps. The downside: This is probably going to make me tote my headphones around more often and become antisocial, but at least I’ll be more informed on snowstorms, fried chicken hot dogs, and eyeliner for when I finally do decide to have a conversation with someone.

Bottom line: There’s just no excuse for Candy Crush.

AshJoyHess (on Snapchat)

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