Snakes slithering all over your body in the name of “relaxation”? Yes, it’s a thing. I saw this article and actually screamed out loud. Alone in my apartment. My dog perked up and I went over and hugged and told him it was going to be ok. He was like, WTF are you doing, weirdo? […]

Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson are very beautiful ladies, but WHY are they SO EFFING LARGE whilst pregnant?! I get that they’re short, but I’ve known many pint-size women who did not turn into sumo wrestlers when they were knocked up. There is the issue of Kim’s curvy figure (read: big ass), but like, the kid is […]

Overheard in the bedroom: Her: “I wish your d*ck was a piece of bacon.” Him: “I wish you tasted like bacon.” Well guess what, meat lovers? Your wildest sexual fantasies have come true! (And if there was a line on this blog, we may have just crossed it.) – That’s right. Bacon freaking lube ($12) and […]

There are some things you never think about having to do until they’re placed right in front of your face. Like this fish last week at Lure: I mean, I didn’t know what the hell to do with that. And not only was I confused…I was a little scared. But then I noticed a handy […]

No, I’m not talking about sex. If you lovely readers are looking for raunchy bedroom action, pick up 50 Shades of Grey or tune into ABC’s Bachelor Pad this Monday. I’m talking about beauty, and I hate to be the bearer of gross news, but there may be aspects of your day-to-day that could use some cleanin’. Without […]

Here’s the deal. You’re going to strip down, step into a silver tube with only your head poking out (what?), then the tube will fill with nitrogen that’s about NEGATIVE 270 degrees Fahrenheit (that wasn’t a typo). You will turn into a human popsicle, but in three minutes, you’ll be all done and feel stimulated, […]